advice on improving this?
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Its good, other then the run on sentence that you said you will fix. I like it. I wanna read more,which is good, because I am really picky with what I read.
please please answer mine:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aoiu3h9tmVYVkD2viTsq_rHsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20100124120924AADiSqX
hey,
firstly, i think at the beginning, i don’t think called is the right word – and in that first bit, i’m not quite sure what emotions are going on – i don’t think you’ve got that bit quite right.
also this doesn’t make sense – “But I want to be big now. . .” She
and in the bit with the height, i think you sue too many adjectives.
but other than that, i really like it! i would read the rest.