Comments on: Am I moving to slow through my novel, should I speed things up..read this please? http://oldworldbarstools.net/am-i-moving-to-slow-through-my-novel-should-i-speed-things-upread-this-please/ Find a great selection of elegant and practical bar stools for your home. Thu, 01 Dec 2011 00:02:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Elvendork http://oldworldbarstools.net/am-i-moving-to-slow-through-my-novel-should-i-speed-things-upread-this-please/comment-page-1/#comment-13750 Elvendork Fri, 05 Mar 2010 20:14:02 +0000 http://oldworldbarstools.net/am-i-moving-to-slow-through-my-novel-should-i-speed-things-upread-this-please#comment-13750 Well, it's pretty good, although I hope this isn't your introduction. If these were the first paragraphs, I wouldn't continue. Anyway, the conversation seems a bit dragged out and kind of silly. Maybe you could shorten it a bit? And, like BeautyBlitz says - starting the action 65% into the story isn't really a good idea. Using all those pages before simply to introduce your characters isn't going to interest your readers. Move along with the plot the moment you start, and let the readers know your characters while you're doing so. Good luck! :) Well, it’s pretty good, although I hope this isn’t your introduction. If these were the first paragraphs, I wouldn’t continue. Anyway, the conversation seems a bit dragged out and kind of silly. Maybe you could shorten it a bit?

And, like BeautyBlitz says – starting the action 65% into the story isn’t really a good idea. Using all those pages before simply to introduce your characters isn’t going to interest your readers. Move along with the plot the moment you start, and let the readers know your characters while you’re doing so. Good luck! :)

]]> By: BeautyBlitz [loathes stupidity] http://oldworldbarstools.net/am-i-moving-to-slow-through-my-novel-should-i-speed-things-upread-this-please/comment-page-1/#comment-13749 BeautyBlitz [loathes stupidity] Fri, 05 Mar 2010 20:14:02 +0000 http://oldworldbarstools.net/am-i-moving-to-slow-through-my-novel-should-i-speed-things-upread-this-please#comment-13749 My advice, introduce your characters AS they move through the story. Don't wait so long to have anything happen or no one will make it that far. You need to start writing your story when the story starts, not 65% before. The excerpt itself was actually fairly well written. But I do think it took too long for the mother to finally get to the point. Perhaps that is just who your characters are and how they communicate, but I think it took to long personally. My advice, introduce your characters AS they move through the story. Don’t wait so long to have anything happen or no one will make it that far. You need to start writing your story when the story starts, not 65% before.

The excerpt itself was actually fairly well written. But I do think it took too long for the mother to finally get to the point. Perhaps that is just who your characters are and how they communicate, but I think it took to long personally.

]]> By: mightydragon2000 http://oldworldbarstools.net/am-i-moving-to-slow-through-my-novel-should-i-speed-things-upread-this-please/comment-page-1/#comment-13748 mightydragon2000 Fri, 05 Mar 2010 20:14:02 +0000 http://oldworldbarstools.net/am-i-moving-to-slow-through-my-novel-should-i-speed-things-upread-this-please#comment-13748 Yeah, its pretty slow. Its ok if its supposed to be slow since you don't want it all to be fast, but going 65 percent of the way without action is too dry. Make a sub-plot or some interesting random occurrence. It feels like the father is too infatuated with Joyce Maude... like maybe he had an affair with her or at least wants to. I don't feel like his indignation is warranted to such a heated extent. Maybe he is upset with Charlene already and her distaste for Joyce only aggravates his contempt. I like your writing style a lot though. You show a refinement that exceeds your years and an awareness of literary devices that even some professional writers neglect. If nothing else, this novel is a good excercise in those areas. This excerpt feels somewhat like Catcher in the Rye. Yeah, its pretty slow. Its ok if its supposed to be slow since you don’t want it all to be fast, but going 65 percent of the way without action is too dry. Make a sub-plot or some interesting random occurrence.

It feels like the father is too infatuated with Joyce Maude… like maybe he had an affair with her or at least wants to. I don’t feel like his indignation is warranted to such a heated extent. Maybe he is upset with Charlene already and her distaste for Joyce only aggravates his contempt.

I like your writing style a lot though. You show a refinement that exceeds your years and an awareness of literary devices that even some professional writers neglect. If nothing else, this novel is a good excercise in those areas. This excerpt feels somewhat like Catcher in the Rye.

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