For all teenagers. What do you think of my writing?
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Overall, I think you have a good tone, and some interesting ideas (especially in Chapter 2 with your villain), though there are some confusing parts that you could clear up. Quite a few times, you could have phrased it differently, with words that would have given off a more sudden, exciting, and alluring tone. Shorter sentences also help. You did have a few excess words. Lastly, you should put more transitions into your second chapter. I’d go into detail, but there’s not enough room.
Make the changes you want – you’re the writer. But keep writing! This could be good with enough editing!
i liked it a lot, and it was very good!
Great start, but a bit overkill on the details. It would be a lot better (in my opinion) if you cut down on the details a bit, but it’s pretty good.
I like it but i think you’re trying too hard to make it seem professional
I love it!!! ,you should finish the story and sell it
Wow!
I loved it right to the very end
I really liked the way you started it and i wasn’t expecting him to be a cannibal
So that was a surprise
It’s really good!
Well Done
Very exciting! I liked it a lot. Part 2 wasn’t as good as the 1st, but it was still good. Keep it up! I’m sure the publishers would be interested in this. Good luck!
Can you help me?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApLNuelfSjFpSbFirtdr9Qjsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20100102114040AAIEsa1
Very interesting and intriguing! good job (: