How would you deal with this situation,I think I made a big mistake?
My brother has been torn up thinking that his wife is having an affair,she has stated to him that she is unhappy and has been staying out late drinking and partying with her work friends,all I can say is that all the symptoms of a third party involved in there marriage are there and have been there for a long time,my brother is a good man,a family man with a good job,very attentive to his kids and wife.Earlier tonight on my way home from work I stop at a local bar to pick up some hamburgers for my family and who do you think is sitting there all cozy in the corner with another man,my sister in law,needless to say I freak out and pound this guy with a beer mug and a chair from the bar,my sister in law runs out of there and so do I.What do I do,I haven’t talked to my brother,did I do the wrong thing by hitting this guy,should I have left and went straight to my brother to tell him that his hunch was right about the affair,what about my sister in law,how do I deal with her now,I am pretty upset at what I did,I think I handled this the wrong way,what do you think
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You,my friend, are in a real tough spot! As to your reaction in the bar, it was just that "a reaction’, right or wrong it happened. I can tell by how upset you are about the altercation this is not the way you normally handle things, so try and put it behind you as soon as possible. As far as your brother and his wife, this to could be a double edged sword with regard to telling him. Some people, no matter how bad the situation do not want to believe that the person they love would do something so painful and he may get upset with you! On the other hand if you say nothing, he will be upset that you knew and did not tell him..Family dynamics are the hardest to deal with, I know. He knows what is going on but does not want to face it and I tend to agree with some of the others, talk to his wife and tell her you will give her 24 hrs to come clean or you will..I don’t know if that is the right way to handle this as I don’t know if there is a right or wrong way! I hope for all concerned that this might scare her into therapy, changing her lifestyle NOW..If she does nothing that pretty much says where she is at with the relationship..I wish you the best and your brother is very lucky to have you for a brother! Not all of us are blessed with family that genuinely cares,wants to even get involved.. I hope it all works out for the best either way something has got to give.
Kathy
You did a very admirable thing, actually. It wasn’t even your wife. I don’t think the guy is going to press charges on you.
I’m sorry to hear. As you know, these sleazy affairs really do hurt good-hearted guys like us and your brother. If these women could only be discreet, it would be a whole other story. Out of sight, out of mind, but when they put the affair out there like that, it’s pure evil.
I cant say this is wrong or right but you did an excellent job at being a great brother. Now seriously, go to your brother’s house and see if your sister-in-law is there, if she is knock on the door and when they let you in tell your brother, "Your wife has something she would like to tell you." Wait for her to begin to tell him and then calmly leave. Make sure to stay by your phone in case your brother needs you.
Always stand up for your family.
there is no right or wrong in that situation .. you couldn’t help but reacting that way , it was a sad scene and you felt that someone very close to you is being insulted, cheated on and threatened and this is a sign of f how much you love your brother and felt that he was betrayed.
I am not sure though how should you go on from there but definately don’t apologize to your sister in law if you are thinking of it. she did sthng very wrong!
The tough task is to bring that to the attention of your brother and causing the least damage possible , you need to think of how to do that and in the ssame time I hope he is not that character who would live in denial , if he is you may have to make him see for himself.
I would appreciate if you answer my post:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081215004840AAtJKhq
*standing up and applauding you*
BraVO !!!
Well done !!
You ROCK !!!
You are one fierce guy …
I can understand why you did what you did. Your brother will probably appreciate how you handled it, man to man, but I hope that the guy doesn’t press charges and have you arrested.
As for your sister in law, she’s a skank. Don’t worry about her – focus on your brother and his children. They need you more than she does. She has her honey now, right ?
You acted on your emotions because you love your brother. You probably would have been best to not hit this guy and let your brother deal with it, but hey, hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Apologise to those involved for what you did and explain why you did it.
I just hope this guy doesn’t have too many injuries and that the police don’t become involved.
Good luck with it all.
That’s a tough one. I don’t think that guy will risk being seen again with your sister in law. I think for now you should talk to your sister in law and find out what the hell’s going on, if she says nothing happened and that she just needed attention then don’t do anything to break up a family especially involving children. Let her know that if you hear of her staying out late and acting strange again from your brother that you will be forced to tell your brother.
Oh Shit! I’ll say you made the right decision, that is what I would have done. When I was like 11, I was the one who found out that my dad was cheating on my mom with her bestfriend by seeing them in bed together. I threw a tv at her, haha.
It’s just out of instict, You fight for the ones you love. That is just how it goes. ( :
But, I think you should really tell your brother how you feel, what you did, and then what you saw! Ekk : /. That’ll be the hard part!
I would have cracked his mother loving skull and then beat the living crap out of her. But thats just me!
I dont think that you were necessarly wrong you were upset for you brother. You should call your brother he needs you more than ever. Does he know your side of the story? Can your wife or another woman show her a thing or two like you showed that guy? Good luck! It sucks the good guys almost always get the unfaithful girls! I have to say almost because I take pride in being faithful to my husband!
Yeah you probably did handel this the wrong way.
you should have went to your brother instead of acting violently.
But the damage is done. the guy probably didnt even know she was married.
Your sister in law sounds like a S***. Your poor brother should probably devorce her.
Maybe you did and maybe you didn’t. The sis in law is still married to your brother right now, so she is going about this in a really bad manner as we speak. She isn’t doing anything too lady like at the moment so You probably shouldn’t have went after the guy with a beer mug, but you should have chased her down and asked her "why" all this trouble she is causing your brother. She needs to own up to the responsibility of cheating/ running around on your brother with other men. That just isn’t how you fix a relationship at all. She’s not being a good wife, a good mother, and good person, or a good woman in general. She has lost respect for herself and needs to sit down with your brother and figure out what is best for the both of them. She can’t just be drinking all the time and doing whatever she wants. She has responsibilities at home, starting with her kids. She needs to take a good look in the mirror and see if she even likes herself anymore. Make her and your brother sit down and talk. Good luck.
Yes, you handled it wrong and hopefully this guy won’t press charges. But I can’t say that your reaction was unexpected. Call your sister in law and tell her that either she tells your brother or you do. End of discussion.
don’t understand why you would punch the guy and not the girl. she’s the one cheating. i would tell your brother and let him decide what to do. or tell the sister in law that either she fess up to her husband or you’ll tell him. then let her tell him and if not you go on ahead and break it to him. he needs to know.
Hi. That’s a natural reaction. That’s what your brain told you to do so it was the right thing. Now all you need to do is tell your brother about what you saw because if you don’t his life will be miserable. He will worry that she is having an affair with another man so it’s best to tell him before his heart really gets crushed. Good Luck with telling your brother. (I’m sure he will be glad you told him.)
You reacted instinctively, and you know it was wrong, but you can’t take it back. Move on from that…..at least you’ve acknowledged your mistake.
The problem is your sister in law’s infidelity….have you talked to her? She may be more honest with you than your brother…..make her tell your brother, and if she doesn’t, then you will have to do it.
I am so sorry! Personally I would have reacted in a similar way, but I would have done the damage to the real culprit, your sister in law! Then let her explain to your brother why you did that to her!
Your brother deserves better than that! She has no business sneaking around bars with another man!!! Shame on her!