Male married older coworker's intentions?
My girlfriend and I are having issues about the intentions of a married older coworker. He’s married (55 year old), she is 32. She started this job about 4 months ago. The guy was the first one to send her a friend request on Facebook. He keeps sending her private messages on Facebook or by regular emails, one of them with inappropriate contents. He asked her once to get a drink at the cafeteria (at work). He plays in a band in bars and restaurants. He also keeps inviting her to those events. First time, I went to one of those events with her. Next day (Saturday) at 8:00 am, he sent her a message on Facebook, asking who I was and where she met me. Second time, in front of his own wife, he tried to show that he was very close to my GF (by laying on her chair at the bar etc….). He recently asked her to go hiking with him and his wife. Sometimes he is mentioning that his wife will be present. I think that he is trying to have her trust him until a day he will find her by herself with no wife around. She thinks that the guy maybe interested only in friendship. I think that there’s no point for a 55 yo married guy to look for friendship in a 32 yo single girl. I think my GF is being too naive! Am I wrong?
Please help with your answers!
Thanks a lot.
Tagged with: 4 months • cafeteria • facebook • friendship • gf • girlfriend • google • job • private messages • restaurants • script type • second time • single girl • text javascript
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That’s a lion’s den and he’s trying to pick her up for him and his wife.
Tell your friend to go for it.
What I think is that a 32 year old woman is completely capable of taking care of herself, without your intervention. It’s odd to me that you feel compelled in any way to meddle in this.
No, you’re not wrong.
Most married guys who look to befriend younger women want an affair. They don’t want to play golf with them.
Okay, a 32 year old is a woman, not a "girl."
That said, your girlfriend IS A GROWN WOMAN and can handle the situation herself. Even if he is a total lech, he can’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do without assaulting her. If he does actually put moves on her, she can get him into serious trouble for sexual harassment.
If his behavior bothers her, she needs to report it to the HR department, as well as de-friend him on Facebook and not spend any time with him outside of work. If it doesn’t bother her, that’s per prerogative.
She should be able to handle this on her own.
no, you’re not wrong, but i think that 1 of 3 things is possible 1. he keeps mentioning the wife because he is trying to convince your friend, his wife, and himself that nothing is going on by introducing your friend to his wife (also banking on the fact that his wife is an idiot). 2. he wants your friend and his wife doesn’t care because she is doing the same thing herself with other guys. 3. he wants your friend and his wife and is trying to gauge his wife’s reaction to a threesome with your friend.
all of which can blow up in your friend’s face in the long run. look, she’s going to do what she wants in the end…but it’s not a good idea to mess w/ married men…even less so when it’s a married guy that you work with. however, there’s nothing you can do to stop her from doing what she wants to do. you might have to really ask yourself why you care so much.