My 3 year old has me at my robes end?
Monday, February 1st, 2010 at
10:47 pm
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Tagged with: dad • day care • daycare • furniture • good stuff • google • kitchen table • little boys • locks • mom • saying things • script type • text javascript • time out • toys
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dont control food like that! he’ll try to sneak it then become overweight.
hes only 3 – he doesnt understand consequence fully. instead of punishing him, guide him.
First, the door locks. Get a hook and eye lock that he can’t reach.
Second your son needs some alone time with you. He is acting out for attention. Take one day a week that the two of you have some one on one time.
You need to sit him down and tell him in words that he can understand, that his Grandmother can’t deal with his behavior. That she loves him, but if he can’t behave he can’t come to her house any more.
You can take him to the local police department. Make an appointment for a police officer to sit down with him and tell him how dangerous it is for him to run away. A little scare tactic from an outsider that he views as powerful might help. The police officer might even throw in that he needs to behave for his parents and grandparents.
Okay, take a deep breath, slowly release it and get a lock where only people over 5 feet tall can get to (at the top of the door). If you have to smack his bottom, only once and that will get his attention and show YOUR boss not him. You can also call Nanny 911… Good luck and don’t kill him *smile*
It is not what you are going to want to hear, and going to be hard to do, but you have to get mean and let him know who is boss and that is you and that is Grandma.
I have a nephew like this that would even hit is Mom and her Mom wondered why he never hit me and I told her because I made it know I would never allow it and he knows it.
My nephew hit me in the face one time and I took him aside and let him know in no uncertain terms that I would not tolerate that behavior and unless he wanted to learn what a spanking was like, he had better never, ever, do that to me again or he would learn. He knows Auntie is loving and giving, but will not put up with any crap and does not try to dish it out anymore.
I personally never spanked my own son until he was 7 and was misbehaving in school and warned him if I ever got a phone call from his teacher about his behavior again, that I would personally come down to the school and spank him. He pushed it and I made serious on the threat and only had to make him bend over and whack his behind one time with my hand to let him know I was serious. He is 13 and I never have since had a call about his behavior in school.
I would strongly advise against buying into an ADD/ADHD (which my son’s school tried to sell me on) disorder crap and getting your son on a controlled substance to make him mellow as opposed to being stern and provide him with firm parenting. Read up on the subject and learn tha Ritalin is as addictive as cocaine and that once a child reaches adolescent years, the medication will have an opposite effect on the child.
I have an 8 year old who had pretty much the same behavior at that age. When he was five, he started school, and things became a whole lot worse. Now, as a mom, I wanted to hear nothing of anything that may be wrong medically. However, after a year of struggle (his and mine) I decided I better open myself to some new options. This is why your question caught my eye. My son has ADHD. (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) He has to take one pill a day (40mg of Strattera) and the change is phenomenoneal. He has more patience. He listens better. He doesn’t ping off every wall in the house. I also had to watch what he was eating because of red and yellow dyes triggering it. He had to stop w/ so much sugar intake (you would be surprised how much sugar is in a juice box that say real fruit juice on the front of it) and we had to learn methods so that the rest of the family could live with this too.
It is so difficult to admit, and this really may not be what your son has, but it sounded so close, I thought that maybe a push in the right direction may help you w/ your frustrations. Talk to your family doctor and see if maybe this (or something simlair) is what is causing the outbursts. Make sure your doctor listens and don’t let him interrupt you. Tell him everything that has been going on and make sure he is aware that not only you, but your parents, are at the end of your ropes because you have tried everything. Make sure there are proper tests done, and make sure that you check out whatever they have decided to treat him with via internet. (I always do). I am not a doctor, but mom’s just know. I hope that this helps…if you need anything else, or have any questions, I am free all the time. Have a great day, and god Bless.
Punish him, put him in a room with no toys and no TV, and I know I’m going to get criticized for saying this but sometime a spanking is what they need to know you are serious. I don’t believe if you spank a kid they are going to need therapy.
Maybe he needs scheduled activities. Like going to the Park in the morning, some craft in the early afternoon, a little TV before nap. Thats just a cheezy example, but if he has something to do rather than just be left to run around and entertain himself. I’d also be rather stern when he gets bad. When my daughter gets crazy like that, I just say "FINE, Mommy is going to (whereever) without you because I cant wait for you to behave." She cries and straightens up. Good Luck!
If you and your mum are both being consistant and his behaviour is out of control, it might be worth taking him to a paediatrician to see if there is a reason behind his behaviour.
There are a number of disorders which effect children’s behaviour.
They may be able to help guide you in how best to manage his behaviour. Also some children react to certain preservatives in food so it may be worth looking at his diet.
If he is a child with a lot of energy taking him to a park or somewhere he can burn it off might help in managing his behaviour.
Goodluck.
Dear,do not worry and congratulations on having a healthy ,active young kid.He’s ready for preschool ,thats what he’s telling you and he needs a routine.
Put youre foot down and do not move it hold firm he is trying to see how far he can push you
Make a schedgual with him and have him help make up some rules show Grandma and have her help Be a dril sgt with a big hug forr good behavure
A chiald would rather be praised then punished but it would rether be punished that egnored.
Let him know what it feals like to be a good boy and make of him when he does the smallest good thing
You will if he is bad right well then you nead to let him know when he is good just the same as bad
I was furious when I read that you are withholding the "good stuff" to eat from your little boy, & his only beverage is water. You should never ever withhold food or beverages as a form of punishment. That’s child neglect to me. He needs to eat healthy meals, healthy snacks, as well as drinking milk daily, along with other healthy beverages. Did it ever dawn on you that your son’s behavior is a direct result of acting out, because he is trying to tell you something? Children behave this way because, usually, they are craving attention. So ask yourself if you are spending quality time with him after work & on weekends. Hold him on your lap & read to him, maybe before bed time. Always remember to make bedtime relaxing for both children as well. If you’re a single parent, you have your hands full, so just give them extra hugs & kisses often. A child needs to always feel wanted & loved & when they don’t, their behavior shows it. If a child jumps on the furniture, & behaves as your son does, it’s because he’s allowed to do it at home, otherwise, he wouldn’t do it at your parent’s home or in anyone else’s home. Truthfully, you need to find a way to get him into daycare or into a home where he can interact with other children. He needs that time with others his age. When he’s home, offer him some child puzzles, coloring books, play doh, etc., to keep his hands & mind busy. Please!!!!!!!! Do not withhold healthy meals, snacks, & drink from him…..ever. Your mother needs a good talking to about taking food & drink away from your son too. Try following the advice I gave you for a while & see what happens. Hug your children daily & tell them verbally how much you love them. They need that!!!!!!!
It appears the boy knows grandma has a bad back and she will NOT correct him!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Grandma and grandpa needs to have your permission to discipline the boy. If they can not discipline him – then he should not be going there.
He also needs discipline at home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He needs to learn that you mean what you say. If he won’t sit in time out then use a car seat that he can’t unbuckle. I’m sure if you put one of those chain locks way up high by the ceiling on the door he won’t be able to reach it.