Opinons on this chapter I wrote?
Wednesday, March 17th, 2010 at
7:25 pm
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It was ok, I couldn’t really understand the point of the story. It really needs to be edited though, like when Ariel said, "So glad you guys are STAYS for another couple of days." STAYS shoud be STAYING.
Keep working on it, good luck!
It seems like a good plot but the writing is bad. You should tell more about who they feel, describe the house, what the characters look like. Things like that.
No offense, but it is horrible. But, I can tell you are young and writing, much like everything else in life takes a lot of practice. If you are serious about writing, keep working on it, go to college and take some creative writing classes. If you put in the effort you will hopefully get better. I am by no means discouraging you from pursuing writing, if that is what you are passionate about.
Not to state the obvious, but a strong family element. Almost seems like something I’d rather watch on screen than read. It’s good in the way that it made me curious about the direction the rest of the novel would go in. You wouldn’t want all the chapters to be like this, though.
One little thing in the last sentence: "Although" not "Althought."
I think it needs a lot of working on. Do you know your story’s plot? From reading it it seems like you haven’t planned out your story. Stories need lots of research and planning. You’ve used a lot of "small talk". Dialogue shouldn’t be there for the sake of it, it needs to mean something.
Pretty good in my opinion… not many mistakes either, however, you still have to spell check because there are a few errors…. A little dull so you might want to spice it up somehow.