A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2", weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6’5" pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."

a blind man walk into a bar with his guide dog finds his way to a bar stool have a couple drinks and ask the bartender do he want to hear a blond joke the bartender give him a deep stair and does not reply the woman next to him say he;s blond and he’s buff and big im blond and is 200lbs and tall the person on the left of you is blond and is a professional wrestler the person on the other side is blond professional fighter and the person next to me is buff 2 so do you still want to say that blond joke
the blind man said nah not if im a have to explain it five times

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely
quiet. In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

"The bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond, and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blond with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the guy sitting next to me is 6’2," weighs 225 pounds, and he’s a blond weight lifter." He continues, "The fella to your right is blond, 6’5" and pushing 300 pounds, and he’s a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah! Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times

x x x

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely
quiet. In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

"The bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond, and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blond with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the guy sitting next to me is 6’2," weighs 225 pounds, and he’s a blond weight lifter." He continues, "The fella to your right is blond, 6’5" and pushing 300 pounds, and he’s a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah! Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.

a blind man walk into a bar with his guide dog finds his way to a bar stool have a couple drinks and ask the bartender do he want to hear a blond joke the bartender give him a deep stair and does not reply the woman next to him say he;s blond and he’s buff and big im blond and is 200lbs and tall the person on the left of you is blond and is a professional wrestler the person on the other side is blond professional fighter and the person next to me is buff 2 so do you still want to say that blond joke
the blind man said nah not if im a have to explain it five times

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course became confused as to where he was on the course.

Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him.

He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what
Hole he was playing.

‘I’m on the 7th hole,’ she replied, ‘and you are a hole behind me. So you must be on the 6th hole.’

He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request.

‘I’m on number 14, and you’re still a hole behind, so you must be on the 13th hole.’

Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.

He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar.

He asked the bartender if he knew the lady.

The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.

He approached her and said, ‘Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you’re in the sales profession. I’m in sales also. What do you sell?’

‘I’ll tell you, but you’re going to laugh,’ she replied.

‘No, I won’t.’

‘Well, if you must know,’ she answered, ‘I work for Tampax.’

With that, he laughed so hard he lost his balance and fell off the bar stool.

‘See,’ she said. ‘I knew you’d laugh!’

‘That’s not what I’m laughing at,’ he replied, ‘I’m a salesman for Preparation H, so I’m still a hole behind you.’

there is a blonde, a brunette and a red head in a grade three class room…
Which one is the cutest?
……the blonde because shes eighteen

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely
quiet. In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
"The bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond, and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blond with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the guy sitting next to me is 6’2," weighs 225 pounds, and he’s a blond weight lifter." He continues, "The fella to your right is blond, 6’5" and pushing 300 pounds, and he’s a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah! Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.

An overweight blonde went to see her doctor for some advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.
The blonde followed the doctor’s advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the whole twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.
At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question:
"How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutelyquiet. In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

"The bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond, and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blond with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the guy sitting next to me is 6’2," weighs 225 pounds, and he’s a blond weight lifter." He continues, "The fella to your right is blond, 6’5" and pushing 300 pounds, and he’s a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah! Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."

haha:P i liked it, if u like it too star please:D?

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutelyquiet. In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

"The bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond, and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blond with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the guy sitting next to me is 6’2," weighs 225 pounds, and he’s a blond weight lifter." He continues, "The fella to your right is blond, 6’5" and pushing 300 pounds, and he’s a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah! Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."

haha:P i liked it, if u like it too star please:D?

Please read my story for school. The first paragraph is the main idea of the story. The second is is part of my story, which I need help on. It needs to be descriptive…and well I’m not good at descriptive stories. Please help. Any ideas are welcomed

The Scarecrow
Luke recently broke up with his long -time girlfriend and lost his job. He’s really unhappy and life isn’t going as planned. He goes to a bar in self-pity. Wasted and longing for a friend to tell all his issues to, he starts talking to the bartender. The woman on the bar stool a few seats down overhears and they start up a conversation. She introduces herself as Miranda. By the end of the night, they exchange phone numbers and plan to meet in the future. After a few days they make plans to go out. They have a good time and make plans for another date. He begins to really like her, and she gains his trust. After a while she starts to act weird. She’s not as talkative and she’s always unavailable. She seems stressed and far away, mentally. When they meet again, she has a bandaged hand that she keeps quiet about (It’s from clearing out the corn field- which the reader knows about). After a few days she goes back to her normal self, happy and cheerful (after she had her sacrifice plan worked out). He thinks nothing of it. For one of their dates, they plan to watch a meteor shower, a pastime Luke really enjoys. She tells him the best place to view it is on the hill overlooking the corn field, a few miles outside her home. They park the car and start walking. They get to the top of a hill and they set their blanket down, and she hands him a beer (drugged). They drink, talk and wait for the shower to start. He feels woozy and passes out. He awakes on a wooded scarecrow post in the corn field below. He has a hard time focusing and staying awake. Miranda is sharping a knife while 3 other people stand around her. They are all singing something quietly (chant). Knowing he is in danger, he screams out but it only comes out as a squeak. Hearing this, Miranda looks up at him with a hellish smile and a demonic gleam in her eyes. She laughs and slits his throat. She leaves him on the post and dresses him as scarecrow, left for people to find him. She moves on to the next town and next victim

And everything went dark.
I came back to consciousness slowly. I weakly opened my eyes and tried to focus them. My surroundings appeared blurry. However, I could tell that I was upright. I blinked my eyes furiously. I could see the faint outline of figures in the dark. A shine of metal caught my attention. The full moon reflected on in it and gave off a shimmer of light as it moved, slowly back and forth. I started to drift off again, but I forced myself to stay awake. My vision came in a little clearer and I could make out the tall corn stalks. My numbness was wearing off. I could feel my arms resting on something to the side of my body, but my hands were not in contact with anything. I groped the air and I made contact with a damp wooded board. Then the adrenalin kicked in. I frantically racked my brain for some information that would help me remember where I was. I opened my mouth to scream. Nothing came out but a squeak. Miranda appeared in front of me. I could see her outline and her piercing green eyes. They shone with a demonic gleam. A hellish smile appeared on her face and she laughed. It was soft and deep. It penetrated the unnerving quietness of the night. It chilled me to the core. As I saw a meteor pass the sky, she slit my throat.

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely
quiet. In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

"The bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond, and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blond with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the guy sitting next to me is 6’2," weighs 225 pounds, and he’s a blond weight lifter." He continues, "The fella to your right is blond, 6’5" and pushing 300 pounds, and he’s a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah! Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times

i have funny ones, rate them all from 1-5 1 is lowest 5 is highest (when you answer)

1. A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2", weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6’5" pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."

see additional for rest
2. There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "It’s blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I’d come out there and give you what’s coming to you!"
3. A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.

She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I’ve kidnapped you."

She then wrote a big note saying, "I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put ,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."

The blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the ,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
4.There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I’m going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it’s better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I’d better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I’m too tired to go on!" So she swam back
5. A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.

"I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.

"You can’t! I’ll die!" retorts the blonde.

"I can’t cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!" says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.

"I said you can’t take it off, or I’ll die!"
The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde. Within seconds, the blonde dies. When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating "breath in, breath out, breath in".
enjoy! and laugh your head off!

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2", weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6’5" pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."
———————————————————————————-

A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.

When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.

So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.

"How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde.

So the man cooly says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes."
A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.

She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I’ve kidnapped you."

She then wrote a big note saying, "I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put ,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."

The blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the ,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.

As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"

After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.
A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane.

The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.

The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped.

The pope told the brunette to take the last one.

The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!"
luckygohappy- you’re blonde aren’t you?

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight-lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

‘Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?’

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, ‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.’

A blind guy’s mistake

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely
quiet. In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

"The bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond, and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blond with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the guy sitting next to me is 6’2," weighs 225 pounds, and he’s a blond weight lifter." He continues, "The fella to your right is blond, 6’5" and pushing 300 pounds, and he’s a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah! Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.

Come on people let me hear yours !