In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes & points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system…
Simple Duties
You make the bed……………………………………………+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows……….0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets……………………-1
You leave the toilet seat up…………………………………-5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it’s empty……………….0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex……..-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom..-2
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light pantyliners with wings…….+5
But return with beer………………………………………..-5
You check out a suspicious noise at night………………………0
You check out a suspicious noise and it’s nothing……………….0
You check out a suspicious noise and it’s something…………….+5
You pummel it with a six iron……………………………….+10
It’s her father……………………………………………-10
Your Physique
You develop a noticeable potbelly………..-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it…+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts……….-5
Finances
You spend a lot of money on something impractical…………-5
Something she can’t use……………….-10
Such as a motorized model airplane…………..-20
And she got a small appliance for her birthday………….-40
Driving
You lost the directions on a trip…………..-4
You lost the directions and end up getting lost…………..-10
You end up getting lost in a bad part of town……..-15
You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals up close and personal………-25
You know them………-60
The Big Question
She asks, "Do I look fat?"……………..-5
(Sensitive questions always start with a deficit)
You hesitate in responding…………-10
You reply, "Where?"………..-35
Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression……0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes……….+5
You listen for more than 30 min. without looking at the TV……..+10
She realizes this is because you’ve fallen asleep………….-20
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party……….0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy……..-2
Named Tiffany………………..-4
Tiffany is a dancer……………….-6
Tiffany has implants……………….-8
When mingling, you hold your mate’s hand and gaze at her lovingly………..+1
When mingling, you introduce her as "the ol’ ball and chain" and pat her on the rump……….-5
When your mate points toward a hot-looking woman and asks you if you think she is attractive, you say, "Yes, but nowhere near as attractive as you"…………….+1
When your mate points to a woman and asks if you think she’s attractive, you say, "Yeah, but she’s lousy in bed"……-6
That woman is her sister………………..-90
You have one drink, and that’s it…………….0
You have more than a few & perform the tango with a poodle………-2
You have a lot of drinks, vaguely remember being fingerprinted….-18
Saturday Afternoon
You go to the mall together…………………+3
You go to the mall, drop her off at the entrance, then park the car………………..+4
You go to the mall, drop her off at the entrance, then drive to a sports bar……………….-2
You spend the day shopping for furniture and pretend to like it….+3
You spend the day shopping for furniture, and nap on a sectional….0
You spend the day at a wholesale club, buying in bulk ………….+3
Most of it chips and beer …………..-6
You tackle a large household project, such as painting the den…………+15
Or refinishing the floors………………….+16
Or rewiring the basement………………..+17
Or adding a second floor…………….+18
Or setting up a Nerf Ball hoop over the bathroom wastebasket…….-6
And you’re tickled pink about it…………………-15
You visit her parents…………………0
You visit her parents and actually make conversation …………..+3
You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television ……..-3
And the television is off……………………-6
You spend the afternoon watching college football in your underwear………..-6
And you didn’t even go to college…………..-10
And it’s not your underwear………………..-15
Her Birthday
You take her out t