Writers: Please critque my work??? Thank you!!?
First, Please be honest. I can never advance if you are not truthful, be hurtful if you have to. Thanks
The bright sun shined through my window, waking me from a deep sleep. I laid still, looking at my dark blue walls, white ceiling, and listening to my sister and her friends banging around in the kitchen down stairs. The fridge opening and closet, the clinging of bowls, cabinets being slammed. I imagined the black fridge, the cherry cabinets, and the red bowls. I pushed away the soft blue comforter. I silently got up and walked over to my closet. The tan carpet was warm from the sun. I pulled a black t-shirt and dark blue jeans from their red hangers where they hung. I didn’t worry about socks. I walked to the dark wooden door, and pulled it open. My feet touched the cool wooden oak floor. I walked down the spiral staircase, and to the kitchen. My sister sat on the dark oak stool, reading the comics. Her straight auburn hair glistened in the sun. Her friend sat beside her, eating cereal. Her blond wavy hair shined.
“Good morning, children.” I said, my deep voice broke the silence.
Startled, the girls jumped. I walked in front of the breakfast bar. I laid my arms on the cold granite countertop and smiled. My sister smiled back. Her blue eyes had a look in them. She was up to something, but was trying to hide it. I had to be on my guard. I reached in the cabinet and plucked a bowl from the stack. It seemed normal. I got my cereal and the milk. Both seemed normal. I poured the milk and added the cereal. Everything was normal.
“Rian, you wouldn’t take us to the mall would you?” my sister said.
I rolled my eyes and replied, “ Victoria, I do not want to be seen with my thirteen year old sister. Do you want to cramp my style?’
Even thinking these words made me laugh. This made them laugh.
“Please, Rian. Anna and I really want to go buy this new perfume and get a super cute outfit.”
“ What guy do I have to beat up now?” I said, chewing a bite of cereal.
“Ew. Your so gross. You totally just spit on me. No one. Are you going to take us or not.” She said, her devious smile vanished.
“I guess, if I have too.”
I took my cereal into the living where I sat on the tan couch. I grabbed the remote and turned on the Saturday mourning classic. Cartoons. My favorite was Tom and Jerry, but duh to over sleeping, I had missed it. I heard the girls giggle. That was nothing new.