My mother clasped her hands together, “Well,” she walked over to the where I was seated and sat down at the stool next to me running her hands through my hair.I shifted uncomfortably away from her resenting the fact she had touched me. My father gave me a stern look and I just rolled my eyes in protest.
“Do you remember Joyce Maude down at the country club?” Her smiled never left her face which was really starting to creep me out.
This piqued my curiosity, “You mean the really mean woman who smells like cat food all of the time and never brushes her teeth?” My lips curled with disgust.
My father gripped the edge of the counter his knuckles baring white and said with a haughty tone, “Charlene, I don’t want to ever hear you say that again, okay, Mrs. Maude is a good person with a good heart who helps out in the community.”
I rolled my eyes, “Well it’s true,” I blurted out. “She never brushes her teeth and she always smells like cats!” I shuddered with horror.
I continued, “And she is really mean, remember the last time we were at the country club and you were playing in the golf tourney with Mr. Ripperton?”
My mother was glancing back and forth between the two of us smile beginning to fade when my father said, “Yes, I do, and she made sure that all of the money that was included into the tournament was to be donated to various charities.”
I grunted and mumbled under my breath, “She also made sure you faulted on the last hole with all of her excessive coughing when it was your turn to putt,” blood still boiling with anger as I remembered my father’s saddened expression that day while Mr. Ripperton celebrated yet another Ocean Shores Tourney Victory.
“She was also sick that day with the flu,” my father said with reassurance. “Yet, she still managed to show up and give support to the otherwise—“
“It was her husband!”
His eyebrows raised then he continued, “Charlene Dawson I would have expected more empathy from you.”
I stared down at the kitchen counter, cheeks burning with frustration.
My father softened his gaze and said in a quiet tone, “Mrs. Maude is a very fragile and sick old lady and she does everything she can to make sure that people in disadvantaged neighborhoods are given food to eat, money, clothes, and a multitude of other things they may need so they may live a better life. I do not know anybody else who does more for the community than Mrs. Maude.”
He paused while my mother repositioned herself in her stool.
He continued, “If there is any one person on this planet whom I look up to the most it is definitely Mrs. Maude. I only hope to be half the person she is.”
He let the last few words bury themselves in the eeriness of silence.
There was a long pause.
My mother glanced at both us and when she was sure our conversation had subsided she spoke, “Anyway, Mrs. Maude told me that she was in search of a few good enthusiastic young teenagers who were job-hunting this summer and I recommended Charlene to take up the position as one of the care-givers.”
I sat still with bated breath and brushed my bangs out of my eyes.
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Basically, I am moving really slow through my novel. I am introducing my characters first, so the action hasn’t really happened yet and wont’t til about 65 percent of the story is finished. Do you think I should implement more action scenes at an earlier time or is this fine?
Also, whaty do you think of this excerpt anyway?
18 male=]
I know I have a lot of years still ahead of me to grow and improve so I am taking my time with this writing thing and doing my best. This is actually the first novel I have ever begun to or plan on finishing to write. Based off of real people with slight characteristic tweaks=]
