My mother clasped her hands together, “Well,” she walked over to the where I was seated and sat down at the stool next to me running her hands through my hair.I shifted uncomfortably away from her resenting the fact she had touched me. My father gave me a stern look and I just rolled my eyes in protest.

“Do you remember Joyce Maude down at the country club?” Her smiled never left her face which was really starting to creep me out.

This piqued my curiosity, “You mean the really mean woman who smells like cat food all of the time and never brushes her teeth?” My lips curled with disgust.

My father gripped the edge of the counter his knuckles baring white and said with a haughty tone, “Charlene, I don’t want to ever hear you say that again, okay, Mrs. Maude is a good person with a good heart who helps out in the community.”

I rolled my eyes, “Well it’s true,” I blurted out. “She never brushes her teeth and she always smells like cats!” I shuddered with horror.

I continued, “And she is really mean, remember the last time we were at the country club and you were playing in the golf tourney with Mr. Ripperton?”

My mother was glancing back and forth between the two of us smile beginning to fade when my father said, “Yes, I do, and she made sure that all of the money that was included into the tournament was to be donated to various charities.”
I grunted and mumbled under my breath, “She also made sure you faulted on the last hole with all of her excessive coughing when it was your turn to putt,” blood still boiling with anger as I remembered my father’s saddened expression that day while Mr. Ripperton celebrated yet another Ocean Shores Tourney Victory.

“She was also sick that day with the flu,” my father said with reassurance. “Yet, she still managed to show up and give support to the otherwise—“

“It was her husband!”

His eyebrows raised then he continued, “Charlene Dawson I would have expected more empathy from you.”

I stared down at the kitchen counter, cheeks burning with frustration.

My father softened his gaze and said in a quiet tone, “Mrs. Maude is a very fragile and sick old lady and she does everything she can to make sure that people in disadvantaged neighborhoods are given food to eat, money, clothes, and a multitude of other things they may need so they may live a better life. I do not know anybody else who does more for the community than Mrs. Maude.”

He paused while my mother repositioned herself in her stool.

He continued, “If there is any one person on this planet whom I look up to the most it is definitely Mrs. Maude. I only hope to be half the person she is.”

He let the last few words bury themselves in the eeriness of silence.

There was a long pause.

My mother glanced at both us and when she was sure our conversation had subsided she spoke, “Anyway, Mrs. Maude told me that she was in search of a few good enthusiastic young teenagers who were job-hunting this summer and I recommended Charlene to take up the position as one of the care-givers.”

I sat still with bated breath and brushed my bangs out of my eyes.

——————————————————————————————-

Basically, I am moving really slow through my novel. I am introducing my characters first, so the action hasn’t really happened yet and wont’t til about 65 percent of the story is finished. Do you think I should implement more action scenes at an earlier time or is this fine?

Also, whaty do you think of this excerpt anyway?

18 male=]

I know I have a lot of years still ahead of me to grow and improve so I am taking my time with this writing thing and doing my best. This is actually the first novel I have ever begun to or plan on finishing to write. Based off of real people with slight characteristic tweaks=]

A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,…. "Rest in Peace."

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying,… ‘Congratulations on your new location!’
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A cowboy is traveling on his horse when he sees a bar. He decides to stop for a few drinks, so he ties his horse outside the bar, walks into the bar, sits right up at the counter and orders a few beers.

The cowboy is new in town, so he notices some of the other bar patrons giving him funny looks, and he suspects that they’ll try something funny, but he continues to drink. When he’s satisfied, he pays for the beers and walks out of the bar only to find his horse missing.

However, he keeps his cool, struts back into the bar, puts on a really mean look and says, "Look, I don’t know what you asses did to my horse out there…but I’m planning to make a move on within the next FIVE minutes, and if my horse isn’t back where it’s supposed to be by then, well…I’m gonna have to do here what I did in Texas!" The cowboy sneers. "And I DON’T wanna do what I did in Texas!"

The cowboy glares at everyone before returning to the counter and ordering another couple of beers. The other customers seem a bit shaken, and sure enough after 5 minutes, the cowboy walks out and finds his horse tied where it was supposed to be.

Just as he’s about to leave, the bartender approaches him and asks, "Just out of curiosity, partner. What was it you did in Texas that you didn’t want to do here?" The cowboy turns to the bartender, gives a lopsided grin and replies, "I had to walk home!"
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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you’re thinking."

Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you’re thinking."
——————————————————
A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink–he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a cab called for him.
The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front door.
A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely–but more firmly refuses service to the man due to his inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for him.
The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.
A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.
The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately.
The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at?"
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A science teacher asked her students "Children, if you could own one mineral what would it be?

one boy said, "I would choose gold. Its worth lots of money and I could buy a Corvette."

Another boy said " I would want platinum because its worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche."

the teacher said, "Johnny, What would you want?

Johnny said "I would want silicone."

"Why would you want silicone?" Asked the teacher

"Well my mom got some, he replied. And there’s always a Porsche or Corvette sitting in our driveway

ani one understand the last one? explain to me please.

Star if you like the
i think that the 2nd 3rd and fourth is funny especially the 2nd one =D