A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course became confused as to where he was on the course.

Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him.

He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what
Hole he was playing.

‘I’m on the 7th hole,’ she replied, ‘and you are a hole behind me. So you must be on the 6th hole.’

He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request.

‘I’m on number 14, and you’re still a hole behind, so you must be on the 13th hole.’

Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.

He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar.

He asked the bartender if he knew the lady.

The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.

He approached her and said, ‘Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you’re in the sales profession. I’m in sales also. What do you sell?’

‘I’ll tell you, but you’re going to laugh,’ she replied.

‘No, I won’t.’

‘Well, if you must know,’ she answered, ‘I work for Tampax.’

With that, he laughed so hard he lost his balance and fell off the bar stool.

‘See,’ she said. ‘I knew you’d laugh!’

‘That’s not what I’m laughing at,’ he replied, ‘I’m a salesman for Preparation H, so I’m still a hole behind you.’

WOMAN’S LOVE POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who’ll call, not wait for weeks?
I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and open s my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MAN’S LOVE POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and hunting This
doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit.
you got some sense of humor there, blackmessenger.

WOMAN’S LOVE POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, he won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MAN’S LOVE POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This
doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a damn.

Ive worked at this golf course for 3 yrs. The first yr I worked in the proshop sellin golf n merchendise. The next yr the manager of the proshop/director of golf asked me if I would like to take an assistant management position in the bar n grill area under a new manager. I gladly accepted. Now my manager treats me like crap. He blames me 4 everything, everything I do isnt good enough 4 him. He treats another employee who wasnt formally an asst. as his asst. askin this guy to do all the work im supposed to do. Then over this winter I was told by the other guy he was promoted 2 Asst n the boss never told me…I talked 2 my other manager n he said hed straighten it out so he got it so we both worked in the bar n grill as assistants…Unfairly I still only got 3 days a week while he got 5. Recently My employee i was workin w/forgot to put the chairs down after vaccummin, n my manager flipped out cuz i didnt catch it and took away all my hours. Now what do i do?
I get paid very well and would rather not quit…i tried talking to him about it and he shook his head and walked away…I don’t even know what i did so wrong…
I’ve already confronted him! He wont even talk to me. There has to be some legal way to go about this. He’s totally harassing me! He’s a terrible manager not only to me but the other girls. He’s a sexist jerk! There’s no reason he should have his job.

I sort of asked a similar question but I need to word it better;

Which would you choose?

1. Up North- 4 hours away from my family, 8 hours away from my fiance’s family. (Everyone in both families goes up north at least once of year.) We’re all outdoor/hunting people.
Pros: Lodge/Reception/Ceremony on the same grounds (.00/night), club is closed within gates so driving is minimal. Golf course, archery/shooting range, skeet and trap, beach, fishing, hiking, four wheelers, dirt bikes, boating. Family will most likely we taking a weekend off because of the drive, so there will be plenty of things to do together, since we don’t see my fiance’s family- they live in Ohio, we’re michigan. Food is wonderful and is only -/plate, but without alcohol- which they charge al lot for.

Cons: Not as formal as I’ve always wanted. People will be slightly separated during reception- main ball room (fights only like 9 tables), a bar room off the side completely by it’s self, and the slightly higher room with only a large doorway to see out into the ball room. If it rains, there is no where to have the ceremony in a appropriate place except next to the fire place with wild game on the walls. (We don’t really want to get married in a church.) Also (Everyone tells me this is no big deal, but I think it is) when we’re done eating, we’d need to get rid of the tables (which we’ll need to rent) to clear for the dance floor.

2. Venue near my home. Pros; Alcohol is included with price/plate (33.50), hall will set up and take down decorations- they told us to just show up with our stuff and come back for the wedding. They will provide chairs, linens, scarfs and little white lights, china, silverware, cake cutting, glass to enclose any centerpieces we choose with candles, 5 1/2 hour bar, champagne for the bridal tables, chair covers, and table. Also- they someone on staff who makes cakes at discounted rate. Ceremony will take place out through the ball where they have a gazebo and they set up the chairs and provide clergy for 0 extra. If it rains, they will move everything inside for no extra cost. Owner coordinates everything on the day of the wedding, right down to providing a card box. She’ll work with our band, photographer, etc. AND my aunt and several friends were married there to attest that this place is actually real, lol. Reception hall has More than enough room to have the dance floor free from tables, and has a stage for the bridal party and then the band.

Cons: Lodging is probably 40-50 dollars more per night off site. Price/plate is somewhat more expensive. (30.55 although that includes everything mentioned above, including alcohol) People would have to drive from the reception to they’re lodging. Depending on when people choose to arrive from Ohio, we might not get to spend extra time with the family.

Some things to add- my fiancee and I aren’t able to contribute much. We have credit card debt, still paying for an apt, and a little bit of school loans and we’re going to finance the honeymoon. But we’d like to pay and upgrade the bar and menu to pick up some of the cost, and if we meet our quest list quota, we’ll pay for any extra friends we may have.

Final note- My parent’s are the only ones paying for the actual wedding.

So, if you were us- which would you choose? We’re leaning towards the place closest to us, because it’s more convenient and we both love the hall.

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf
course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he
saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion
and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.
"I’m on the 7th hole," she replied, "and you are a hole behind me. So
you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf.
On the back nine, the same thing happened and he approached her again
with the same request. "I’m on number 14, and you’re still a hole behind, so you
must be on the 13th hole." Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.
He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same
lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady.
The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the
course often. He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in
appreciation for your help. I understand that you’re in the sales profession.
I’m in sales also."
What do you sell?"
"I’ll tell you, but you’re going to laugh," she replied
"No, I won’t."
"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."
With that, he laughed so hard he almost fell off the bar stool.
"See," she said. "I knew you’d laugh!"
"That’s not what I’m laughing at," he replied, "I’m a salesman for
Preparation H, so I’m still a hole behind you."

> A man, while playing on the front nine of a
> complicated golf course
>
>
> became confused as to where he was on the course.
> Looking around, he saw
> a lady playing ahead of him.
>
> He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her
> if she knew
> what hole he was playing. ‘I’m on the 7th
> hole,’ she replied, ‘and you
> are a hole behind me. So you must be on the 6th hole.’
>
> He thanked her and went back to his golf.
>
> On the back nine, the same thing happened and he approached
> her again
> with the same request.
>
> ‘I’m on number 14, and you’re still a hole
> behind, so you must be on the
> 13th hole.’
>
>
>
>
>
> Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.
>
> He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he
> saw the same
> lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender
> if he knew
> the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and
> played the
> course often.
>
> He approached her and said, ‘Let me buy you a drink in
> appreciation for
> your help. I understand that you’re in the sales
> profession. I’m in
> sales also. What do you sell?’
>
> ‘I’ll tell you, but you’re going to laugh,’
> she replied.
>
> ‘No, I won’t.’
>
> ‘Well, if you must know,’ she answered, ‘I work
> for Tampax.’
>
> With that, he laughed so hard he lost his balance and fell
> off the bar
> stool.
>
> ‘See,’ she said. ‘I knew you’d laugh!’
>
> ‘That’s not what I’m laughing at,’ he
> replied, ‘I’m a salesman for
> Preparation H, so I’m still a hole behind you.’

Here’s one just for laughs….rate please

A man, while playing on the front nine of a
complicated golf course, became
confused as to where he was on the course.
Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of
him. He walked up to her,
explained his confusion and asked her if she knew
what hole he was playing.

"I’m on the 7th hole," she replied, "and you are
a hole behind me. So you must
be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back
to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened and he
approached her again with the
same request. "I’m on number 14, and you’re still
a hole behind, so you must be
on the 13th hole." Once again he thanked her and
returned to his play.

He finished his round and went to the clubhouse
where he saw the same lady
sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the
bartender if he knew the lady.

The bartender said that she was a sales lady and
played the course often.

He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a
drink in appreciation for your
help. I understand that you’re in the sales
profession.
I’m in sales also. What do you sell?"

"I’ll tell you, but you’re going to laugh," she
replied.

"No, I won’t."

"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work
for Tampax."
With that, he laughed so hard he almost fell off
the bar stool. "See," she said.
"I knew you’d laugh!"

"That’s not what I’m laughing at," he replied,
"I’m a salesman for Preparation
H, so I’m still a hole behind you."

A man, while playing on the front nine of a
complicated golf course, became confused
as to where he was on the course. Looking
around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him.
He walked up to her, explained his confusion
and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.

"I’m on the 7th hole," she replied, "and you are
a hole behind me. So you must be on the 6th hole."

He thanked her and went back to his golf ball.

On the back nine, the same thing happened and
he approached her again with the same request.

"I’m on number 14, and you’re still a hole
behind, so you must be on the 13th hole."

Once again he thanked her and returned to his play

He finished his round and went to the clubhouse
where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of
the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady.

The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.

He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a
drink in appreciation for your help. I understand
that you’re in the sales profession. I’m in sales
also What do you sell?

I’ll tell you, but you’re going to laugh," she replied "No, I won’t."

Well, if you must know," she answered "I work for Tampax."

With that, he laughed so hard he nearly fell off the bar stool.

"See," she said. "I knew you’d laugh!"

That’s not what I’m laughing at," he replied,
"I’m a salesman for Preparation H, so I’m still a hole behind you."

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course became confused as to where he was on the course.

Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.

"I’m on the 7th hole," she replied, "and you are a hole behind me. So you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request. "I’m on number 14, and you’re still a hole behind, so you must be on the 13th hole."

Once again he thanked her and returned to his play. He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.

He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you’re in the sales profession. I’m in sales also. What do you sell?"

"I’ll tell you, but you’re going to laugh," she replied.

"No, I won’t", he replied.

‘Well, if you must know,’ she answered, ‘I work for Tampax.

With that, he laughed so hard he lost his balance and fell off the bar stool.

"See," she said. "I knew you’d laugh!"

"That’s not what I’m laughing at," he replied, "I’m a salesman for Preparation H, so I’m still a hole behind you."