I lost a bet with my boyfreind and I had to get messy. Here’s my story…I know it’s quite long…scroll to the end for my real question!

I had a bet with my boyfriend over who could stay on the phone the longest before falling asleep or giving in to their fatigue and hanging up first. It had been a long day for me as I had worked twelve hours and so in a dreary tone I said “I give up. Good night, sweetie.” The agreement was that the following day the loser would be getting messy.
So here I am standing before the mirror in my boyfriend’s bathroom dressed in some skimpy clothes waiting to get messy. I took one last look at myself in the mirror and sighed as I opened the bathroom door and entered the kitchen.
“Nice.” Michael said, “You look hot in that.” He padded down on the stool he had brought over for me and I gingerly sat down and took a deep breath. This was going to be humiliating.
First, he walked over to the counter and grabbed a couple of peanut butter jars and a spatula. “Lift up your arms,” he said. I did as he said as he opened the first jar and shoved his rubber spatula inside. He spread layer after layer of the gooey stuff on my underarm and then he continued on the second underarm with his spare jar of peanut butter. It felt disgusting, but I could tell he was enjoying it. He then grabbed a pie tin practically spilling over with shortening and ordered me stand up. I stood up as he slid the tin underneath me. He then shoved me down forcing the greasy shortening into my crotch. “Eww…” I said, with a disgusted expression on my face. He gave me a satisfying grin and said, “Oh, it’s not over yet.”
He came over with a jar of honey and tipped it over my chest. The gooey substance slowly spilled out of the jar and down my chest and middle. He then came around with a jar of chocolate syrup and ordered me to lift my head to the ceiling as he poured it all over my face. It cascaded down my sides and all down my legs to the floor.
I kept my mouth shut despite how uncomfortable this was for me. He then brought over a couple containers of cool whip. He opened one and shoved his hand inside, shoveling a huge glob of it out. “Do you like facials?” he asked. I nodded. He slathered the cool whip all over my head and rubbed it in gently on my face. He then grabbed my hair and slathered another glob of cool whip into it. It did kind of feel like being at the salon as he rubbed the messy white cream into my hair and all over the rest of my head.
He walked over to the sink to wash the goop off of his hands in preparation for round two. He started off the second round with a large mixing bowl full of vanilla cake batter as he dumped it over my head and again it slid down my sides and legs, dripping all over the tiled floor. He then massaged this goop into my long hair until he was satisfied with the mess he had made there. He then went back to the counter to grab another large mixing bowl nearly overflowing with chocolate cake batter. This time he forced my whole head into it and pulled my head out by my hair. He finished it off by dumping the remainder of the cake batter onto my lap.
He then came around with two banana cream pies and made a pie sandwich out of my head. At this point I was enjoying getting messy and starting to feel aroused. He then came around with a large bucket of slime and let it slowly trickle down onto the top of my head. He then told me to look up and as I did so he dumped the slime all over me. Not an inch of me wasn’t covered in some kind of slimey, gooey mess.
After that, he brought a carton of eggs from the fridge and ordered me to sit on them and crack them with my ***. There was one last thing left on the counter. A few sticks of softened butter all stacked up very neatly. He unwrapped them one by one and slathered them all over my body, rubbing it in especially into my hair. He then clasped his hands together and nodded in satisfaction. That session was over but now I can’t wait to lose another bet again.

So my real question is…what are some ideas for next time I lose a bet and what is the messiest experience you’ve ever had (if you’ve experienced one)?

With the help of the moonlight shinning through the window I can just see the color with barely tint of red.
Blood?
As I cowered in the corner of the bathroom in fear the liquids started to foam as bubbles rising taller and over the bowl.
I suddenly get this tug in my stomach and get this sudden urge to dip my head into the bowl and started drinking.
Blood.
Must drink. Foaming liquids. Head under. Sucking, swallowing.
“HOHOAHAHAH!”
“GAHHH!” screaming I flung off my cover and totally fall headfirst toward the floor.
Crack.
“Oof!” ow. I raise my head and put my right index finger on my forehead expecting to see blood all over my face.
Wow.
What a horrifying dream. Oh, a total emphasize on the word dream. It was so freakish real. Totally.
And the “HOHOAHAHAH!” from the stupid monkey alarm clock I got for Christmas REALLY didn’t make me feel any better.
I hear eggs and ham sizzling in the pan downstairs as I finish dressing and on the way down the narrow twisting stairway.
“Good morning, honey.” Mom calls cheerfully when I plop down on a stool, shivering just a bit.
“Mom, I got this weird dream last night. I was-“I started but was cut off like every morning by dad loud and gruffly yawning as he appear out of nowhere.
“Mat, what took you that long to get home yesterday?” Dad’s voice shook me awake from my nightmarish thoughts. Thoughts that have things to do with toilet, blood and a lot of gross stuff I needn’t mention.
“Mat, you’re shaking.” Mom came from the kitchen and put her cool palm on my head, feeling my temperature probably.
“Mom I-“I try to talk but-
“What happen last night Mat?” Dad fixes his stern eyes on me. “You came home later from usual last night, shaking and pale. You look like something from a horror movie. Did a vampire bite you or something? Dad tried badly to make a joke.
“No, but I did had a night-“Wait a minute. I stopped myself. VAMPIRE?
I gear my thoughts and look back to yesterday.
How HAD I gotten home yesterday?
I couldn’t remember……
Was everything that happens yesterday just a dream? Or had I really did what I thought I did?

okay, this is completely and totally a rough draft for the beginning of the preface of my book. read it. tell me what you think and what can be done to improve it. by the way, his name is "vincent". violet just cant correctly pronounce the name yet. and remember, this is a rough draft, it isnt perfect. im just posting on here for suggestions for improvement. thanks.

“Violet, get down from there!” Sofia called, with an edge of panic in her voice. Sofia swiftly took Violet in her arms and held her tightly against her chest. The determined child, who had been standing on top of a bar stool in the middle of the kitchen, was trying to climb onto the kitchen counter, struggled against her mother’s grasp. “What were you doing up there? You could have fallen and hurt yourself!” Violet squirmed in her mother’s arms and then threw her tiny hands up in exasperation.
“I was trying to put this on the Bince’s cake!” she exclaimed, as if her intentions should have been obvious. In each hand she had some birthday candles. Sofia laughed and kissed her gently on the cheek.
“Honey, I told you to wait for me before you put the candles on, didn’t I?”
“I wanna do it! I’m big enough, Mommy. I’m six now! Come on! I’m big enough. I’m not five anymore!” Violet whined as she pouted in the direction of her older brother’s birthday cake. Sofia carried her into the living room. She sat in the recliner and set Violet on her lap angling her daughter’s face toward her own. Of course Violet was big enough. Her mother was overprotective at times, and it annoyed Violet. She just didn’t want anything bad to happen to her daughter. She had always done everything in her power to keep her children safe and she always would.
“You want to grow up so badly, don’t you?” she sighed as she combed her fingers through Violet’s curls.
“Yeah! I wanna be bigger! Like Bince! He’s big, so he gets to do everything!” She crossed her arms. It just didn’t seem fair to Violet that her brother got to be big and she didn’t.
“You will be big soon enough. Too soon, actually.” she stroked her cheek admiring the beauty of her precious child.
“But I want to be big now. . .” She
“I know you do But can you please tell me what’s so bad about being six?”
“Being short!” Sofia laughed at the scowl on Violet’s face.
“Well, that may be something you’ll have to get used to.” She said thinking of her own height. Five feet tall. And considering how much Violet’s features resembled her mother’s, it would not be surprising if they ended up being around the same height. Her ebony hair had the same spiraling, wavy curls. Her skin had the same pale cream complexion. They both shared the same startling shade of sapphire blue eyes. They even had the same dimples.
“Can I put the candles on now?”
“I guess,” Sofia said with a sigh, suddenly distracted from her reverie.
okay, i just noticed the run on sentence in the second sentence, just ignore that. i’ll fix it.
**third sentence
oh, and im only 17

Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo.

The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, leapt to the ground and pumped her like crazy. Then he went back into his cage, straightened the bars and resumed thumping on his massive chest.

The young nun got up off the ground, straightened and dusted her clothes, turned to her companion and said,"We shall never talk about this, agreed?" The other young nun consented.

Twenty five years later the two nuns, who had stayed close friend, were out having coffee, when all of the sudden, the second nun asked her friend," I know I agreed never to talk about the event at the zoo but I have one question."

The other nun stared and said,"O.K., one question!"

The other nun stammered, then asked, "Did it hurt?"

"Did it hurt? Oh yes it hurt! He never called… never phoned… he never sent flowers…"
————————————–…
Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can’t believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a
single red rose!
Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed.
Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom
mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the
stove, I left early to go shopping–Love you!"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, "son…what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh THAT!… Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I’m married!"

Broken furniture – .26
Hot Breakfast – .20
Red Rose bud -.00
Two Aspirins -$.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time………Priceless.
————————————–…
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit.9 Iron"
The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone. "Ribbit. 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! he hits it 10 inches from the cup.
He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that’s amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog replies "Ribbit. Lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit. 3 wood." The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one.
The man is befuddled and doesn’t know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?" The frog reply, "Ribbit. Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit. Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks,"What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit.00, black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don’t know how to repay you. You’ve won me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit, Kiss Me." He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.
"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room."

My kitchen and living room Connect through a big bar opening in the wall. I was thinking of doing the kitchen some shade of green that will go with the stainless steel Appliances and honey wood cabinets. In my living room I have Chocolate brown Curtains that I love, but I am unsure of what colors to paint the walls. My couches are light tan, and most other furniture is black With the kitchen being green I feel the living room being green would be too much. I was thinking light powder blue, but the carpet we currently have is about that color, so it may again be too much. We are however going to be upgrading to honey colored wood flooring within a year. So I need a color that will work for now as well as when we change to wood flooring.

Okay, you’re married. Heck, even if you’re not……let’s say you got a partner. Someone you love, someone you may marry. It’s obvious this is no ordinary love. You and this person are together, been together a few years and if you’re not already married, you feel like this is the one. Makes you heart beat and whole nine yards. You share deep personal stuff and you even like his/her mother. Yeah, WOW!. Anyway, one night you’re special someone says ………"Honey, before we go any further, there is just something I have to get off my chest" "It’s a fantasy of mine, and now that I have you, I want to do this and spend the rest of my life loving only you". You ask what it is. He/She says that they want to have a threesome with two people of the opposite sex. I.E. she wants two guys to do her at the same time. I am talking / no holds barred / raucous / furniture is gonna broken / HARDCORE quadruple X – rated / and yes this will not be short and quick, pack lunch!! But he/she does not want you involved, cause it is a fantasy. I know this sounds out there, but I’ve seen it happen and this description is very tame compared to some of what I have seen and heard. Remember, you love this person and they love you. There is no question about that, PERIOD. It’s only gonna be one night and then the two of you skip off into sunset forever, together. What do you say?
Listen guys, there are marriages that have lasted threw way worse than this. It’s only one time, I understand and respect your responses, but I have seen marriages heck even long term relationships last thru more than this. I’ve know couples that that’s all they do is cheat on one another. Besides, come on I know some of the married guys out there have been somewhere and looked at some woman and curiosity has gotten the better of them. It’s not that they don’t love their wife, it’s that excitement you get from strange love. I mean I am sure the ladies out there would rather have this happen once through her conscession at the beginning of the relationship than all through it till you both wanna kill the other one and things get messy in court. I don’t know, just saying.

They are hardly visible unless they are in a large groupo. They are black and have the size of a small flea. Too hard to follow them. (my kitchen table is black granite) Raid or any other ant-killer work only for short time and then they are back. I want some NATURAL treatment/solution I can use. I have kids that will touch the kitchen tables and furniture.
I am afraid cloves dont work. I have tried it. As of taking of every thing they like to eat, I would have to empty my kitchen and pantry!. they even bite/break sugar bags and get inside. You open a pack of sugar and you find several of them in there. The package was perfect from the supermarket but they got into it. They even got inside the honey bottle which was hermetically closed. I dont know how they managed to get inside there.

What do the lyrics to alex english mean?

Stop! The first one to hit the cop wins
His death was so obvious
Make up the things that you did
I hid in bushes, I was tripping on thizz
Description, of no sir you can’t ignore
The lights they are blinding, and you man are such a bore
Please smash the target, please smash the target, please smash the target, right where the heart sits
Whoever said we had to stop this from happening? my plans changed abruptly and you chose to flee this unstable setting.
And I’ll only survive in this life…
I got that necklace, I got that watch
I copped that blow torch, off your front porch
I’ll only survive if it’s you by my side… and I’ll only survive in this life…
I got that bottle of jack, I got five on that sack
If this fails then I’ll bail you out of jail
T’s so obvious you’re constantly blocking me from rational thinking

Maybe I look good in leather
In my bed I pluck your feathers
We should fucking be together
Now look alive and say you’ve gotta go

Well don’t it feel good? you got what you paid for
Maybe I look good in leather
In my bed I pluck your feathers
Dance Gavin Dance – Alex English
lyrics from http://www.6lyrics.com
We should fucking be together
Now look alive and say you’ve gotta go

Brace me honey I need friction, if I slur my words correct my diction, it’s not always fact or fiction, I made the plan I’ll make my own plan.
Period colon grammar arsenal, I think we need some brand new barstools, A new decor, oh man that cars cool, I change the plan, I bought my own plan
The night was innocent
But she’ll never believe
That I was alone
The night was innocent!!!!!!!!
Reciting words I never meant to write
You want a piece of my mind that’s fine that’s fine that’s fine, You want a piece of my mind, that’s fine

Just keep your arms around me,
And I won’t let your body touch…
I won’t let it touch the ground
Just keep your eyes on me,
And let me be your gravity
Until you can, can sleep sound
Until you can, can sleep sound (2x)
(Your right I am addicted
The point I guess I missed it
It’s not your fault, but I’ll blame it on anything, but myself)

It was a new dawn on a new day at the old house which she had lived in for years. The liquid yellow sun was but a thin line above the horizon, barely visible, yet still making the sky rather bright.

Gwyneth walked down the long, drawn out stair case and into the giant foir. The light from the tall windows in her huge house came down and shown her light blonde hair, making it seem as if it was completely white.

She turned into the long corridor, in search of the kitchen. When she finally came to a hault, she was no where near the kitchen.

She had felt something. A brush of air, perhaps? Perhaps not. She turned around, wondering if her mother was up doing something, but yet she saw nothing.

"Hello?" She said in a nervous voice. No response. "Probably nothing," she said, only trying to console herself.

As she finally reached the kitchen, she waked in and saw her mother perched on one of the bar stools, reading the newspaper.

"Oh, good morning, Gwyneth," she said, turning around toward her daughter. "Good morning, mother," she said, walking to the bar
stool next to her. "Have you opened a window, mother?" She asked, considering the chill she had felt in the hallway earlier.

"No, honey. Why do you ask?" "No reason."

Gwyneth stood up from the seat and walked over to the fridge.

"Mother, I’m making eggs. Would you like some?" She offered. "Um, no thank you. I’m good with just my coffee," Her mother said, giving her
a quick smile.

Gwyneth shrugged, cracking only one egg into the pan and started poking at it with the spatula.

After eating breakfast, she made her way up the stairs to change into something at least a bit more formal than her night clothes.

—That’s what I have so far. Tell me if I should start over..! (I’m only in 5th grade, so don’t be too harsh. Give me some tips on better writing! I have to do this for school )

I just moved and I’m working on decorating my house, but I’m having a really hard time deciding on what to do for a kitchen table.

The way the room is designed is so that there is one space, about 36 ft. long providing the kitchen, area for a kitchen table and then the family room. The only thing that divides the kitchen area from the family room is the fact that the kitchen has tile and the family room has carpet. Now, the problem is that in my kitchen I have a lighter colored maple cabinet, I believe it is often referred to as honey, but I’m not positive. When I was decorating for the family room I knew that I wanted a large media center to house my tv and other things. The only color I could find them in, other than oak (which wouldn’t have worked with the style I have) was a dark cherry. So, no I’m very concerned about being able to make the transition from the kitchen table to the family room media center and somehow getting the table to work with both rooms.

The only thing I have thought of was a glass table. The only problem is that I can only find glass tables in round sizes instead of rectangle, which I’m not sure if it would work right. The kitchen itself is about 18 ft. long and the area where the table would sit is about 10ft. 8in.

I went searching last weekend and I found one table that I think may work: http://www.kanesfurniture.com/furnituredetail.aspx?CategoryID=95&PackageID=28811 I liked the look of the table and I also like that I can get matching bar stools. The bar sets in the same area as the table, so I’d like to get them to match as well if I can.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. If you need any other info about the room, setup, colors, etc. just let me know and I can get anything.

Thanks so much!
Thanks for your reply:

My colors are:

Paint: Beige
Countertops: Beige: http://www.silestoneusa.com/colors/colors.cfm?ColorID=29
Carpets: Beige
Tiles: Kind of an orange and teracota color, chosen to match the maple cupboards.

I looked at some of the cherry tables when I was at some furniture styles and the only concern is that the cherry won’t look right since it would be right next to my maple cupboards. The kitchen is in eat in style kitchen, so the table would be closest to the maple cupboards and the dark cherry media center would be about 10ft. away or so.

I’m not looking for anything too fancy, just something that would tie the rooms together and look nice.

Thanks again!