Ok, my 2 and a half year old little girl had the worse temper tantrum yesterday at cici’s. I was there picking up pizza to take home and we had to wait for a few minutes. Well when i went to sit down and wait, she started to kick scream yell and cry that I wasn’t going to the bar and letting her pick out what she wanted. EVERYONE in the restraunt was starring at me as I was trying to calm her down. I took her out side and tried to make her sit down on the ground (normally when this happens I have a chair she isnt aloud to leave for 10 min. when she does this) well she kept screaming and crying and trying to run away from me. I spanked her and tried to sit her down again, well as soon as that happen a cop showed up. He started acting as if I was abusing her! I started to cry and told him what was going on, he said alright and left me with a warning. WTF!!! I finaly got her calmed down enough to go inside and pick up the pizza and go home but all the way home she cried and screamed…
I believe in spanking in some situations, and I felt it was a situation in which I thought it was nessisary! you can state you opinions on spanking I dont care…. but I was spanked as a child and I was not scared for life over it!

Ok let me start with i have a vet app tomorrow at 8 in the morning.. I just got my puppy like a week ago he was 8 weeks when i got him, he has had all of his shots and has been de-wormed.. Tonight i noticed that there was blood in his stool when he pooped on my kitchen floor (not potty trained yet). it was like he pooped and then as an after thought pushed again and it was blood.The poop was soft in consistency and the blood seemed a little watery to me.. So as soon as i cleaned it up and got a better look at it i called a 24 hr vet and they were not of much help. She told me to make an app for in the morn and he should be fine but as i was talking to her he pooped again and it was all blood not very much just a few drops but still blood i told the lady on the phone and she still did not seem worried.. So i made my app for the morn but im still panicking.. He seems fine, he’s still eating and drinking and is as playful as ever. Im just wondering what it could be? I haven’t had a dog since i was a little girl so i don’t know much about puppy’s.. So im just worried i love my puppy and don’t want anything to happen to him..

Long story short I accidental break bar on chair class starts laughing principal comes down pull 3 kids out not including me, she also called a little girl a monkey because she i guess sound like on to the principal. She sends back the one black kid which she knew his mother. She then calls me down and gives the 3 of us a detention for disrupting class even though everybody else was laughing and I accidentally broke the bar. She also gave me destruction of school property. The principal was Also Black and Female! I want to know if you sense any Discrimination in this at all. My mom had us leave Leesville, Louisiana(Fort Polk) all because I was treated like crap because I was white and given a crap education. I need to know what I should do!

I have 3 cats and a dog all males I also have a 4 year old little girl.
My oldest cat is somewhere around 14 or so years old he was a stray we took in 10 years ago.
We are having a hard time with this and I will list the reasons why I think he should be put to sleep I made an apt. 2 weeks ago and cancelled last minute because I just couldnt do it.
Ok for starters
1.For about 5 years now he has had alot of itching on his head we have tried everything the vet can think of and nothing helps it is to the point now when he scratches his head he yelps in pain and you can tell it is itchy alot, poor thing
2.For the past year when he goes to the bathroom he has bright red blood in his stool and ALL of his poop is very runny which I am sure is not very comfortable, the vet said stress I had him cjecked a few times.
3.My dog and him used to be best friends they have been together from the start for the past 2 years everytime my cat is even in his sight my dog attacks him and sometimes to the point my dog will have fur in his mouth and my dog guards the kitchen so the cat cant get into the basement, not sure what is going on there really weird the change all of a sudden, maybe the dog senses the cat is sick, not sure? nothing has changed as har as alpha animal would be concerned.
4. for the past year the cat has been missing the litter box it started he would get right next to it and now it is wherever he wants to go and again it is the bloody slimy stuff which is VERY unsanitary to my family, my daughter is old enough to yell out MOMMY yuck come here quick but this is 2-3 times a day I think I am being very patient alot of people would have put there animal down along ago for this reason.
I have tried differnt cat foods, the vet said try a fiber diet etc… no help.
5. The cat has been throwing up for awhile now for awhile it was just once in awhile and it would be his catfood right after he ate and now it is at least once a day and it looks just like slimy poop, I notice he has lost some weight lately.
6. A big problem and with me probably the straw that broke the camels back is he has been peeing on things, on my husbands shirts, on my daughters blankets, on my shoes etc… I wasnt sure which cat was doing it and tonight we were watching tv and my daughter had a blanket on the floor and the cat comes up paws at the blanket my husband was about the yell at him and I said no let him do what he is going to do I want to see that he is actually doing it and sure enough he peed all over it right in front of us and it had nothing to do with he was too old or not able to make it to the litter boxes he just sat there and did it, I was mad!!!!! The worst smell in the world is cat pee especially from a male and I have thrown away ALOT of things some that I love because I refuse to have that smell in the house I dont care how much or how hard you clean it, it still smells and I dont know if you have ever smelled someone that smells like cats but it is gross and I will not be one of those people!!
7. All this poor cat wants to do is go outside and eat grass and lay in the sun and we wont let him out we dont want him to get hit by a car and there is a couple of stray cats across the street, my other cat got out (long story) a few weeks ago and one of the cats beat the crap out of my 18 pound strong cat so I dont want to chance anything.
So I guess by me just writing all of this has helped to make up my mind but the reason why I am having a hard time is
1. My daughter just loves this cat she loves all animals but this cat she just loves she can pick him up carry him around (gently) he sleeps on her lap he rubs up against her he just loves her too, the other too cats she likes too the one likes her ok and the one is scared but this one just adores her.
2. He still has a good appetite and still drinks water fine
3. He still gets playful at times like a little kitten his eyes get all big and he will chase after a bug or a toy.
4. He jumps around like crazy like nothing in the world hurts him.
and 5 he is just a very very nice sweet cat! the best cat I have ever had a nice little lap cat that isnt too buggy and still needs lots of love!
Soooo there is my whole story and I hope someone has the time to read all of this and not judge me but maybe give me some advice I really need it!
Thanks,
Connie
There is one option at the moment, my parents are moving from another state closer to where we live and my m om just loves this cat and she told me to wait on what I do and when they move which will be in a month or so that they might take the cat (have to work on my dad he says no) but the thing would be he would be an outside cat there, they have 2 cats and they are inside/outside cats and this new house has a barn type thing he would live in with a couple acres of land in the middle of nowhere which would be fine now but what happens when it gets cold? I know my mom and she would let him in if it got too cold but with the blood poop trails and the pee that wouldnt last long in there NEW house. I have taken him to a couple vets and they pretty much tell me the same thing about the blood and the itching I have changed his diet and done cortisone shots etc.
As far as my dog he is not aggresive what so ever that is what is so weird he one day just started going after this cat.
thanks

Life is always hard, no matter how you look at it. Every little girl dreams of growing up and meeting her prince charming.14 Years down the road and I still haven’t found him. Sat at my desk I tackle some previously set homework that was due for yesterday. I soon give up after remembering it was Algebra. Walking downstairs I find a note taped to the side of Bella’s doggy basket .

Erika,
I’m going to be home late, I left dinner in the fridge.
Love Mum x

Sure enough,,I opened the fridge and the ready meal was sat there on the top shelf. I was use to this dining it had been going on for about a week. Mum was somehow always busy at work or on the phone to my father. I tossed the meal into the bin and reached for the phone and the post-it note with a pizza number on.
After sitting down and demolishing half the fatty four cheese pizza, I was stuffed to say the least. I waited for at least 5 long lonely hours for my mum to come home. When she finally put the key in the lock I was half asleep and watching the 11 o’clock news. I saw out of the corner of my eye what looked to be a folder and 3 suitcases of various sizes.
“Mum?” I said warily,whilst rubbing my sore. Tired eyes.
“I’m home, sorry I’m late darling”
“What have you got in your hands?”
“Oh ..” she said hesitating for a moment. “We need to talk Erika”
She urged me to walk into the kitchen,i did as I was told in a half conscious state, I sat down on the stool that was nearest to me.
“Erika, You know me and Jack have been dating for about a year”She paused, it seemed she was waiting for a reaction to show on my face before she carried on.
“Were getting marred”She said slowly hoping I wouldn’t freak out.
“wow” I studdered. I knew there was more to come.
“Were Moving to Alabama “
From the look on her face she knew I was in shock and pain
“But your moving to stay with your dad,Only I’m moving with Jack”
She knew me and my dad didn’t get on. Was this a joke? I was half waiting for her to burst out laughing but the other half new deep down she meant this
I banged my fists down with such force her pale body shook.
“How could you?” I screamed unaware of my own force I had against her.
“I.. I cant see any other way for this to happen”
“Whats going to happen to Bella?My Friends?When am i leaving?” I demanded in one breath. I could feel my head going lighter. My hands were clammy, I was mad and she new I wouldnt forgive her lightly.
Iv changed it now
It starts
Life is always hard, no matter how you look at it. Every little girl dreams of growing up and meeting her prince charming.14 Years down the road and this dream was still fresh on my mind.
Actully no it doesnt contain any Vampires or anything like that.
She goes away and she finds a BF but then she makes a really good friend (girl)and then her friend gets feelings for her and then Erika has to pick between the two.
Its More about Finding herself and Making Choices in Life.
x

I really dont know what im asking but ill explain. I bought a chihuahua on march 10th the people gave me a puppy pack which had a little heart worm pill in it kinda like his shot record and reg. application. i bought the type of food that they told me he had been eating. when i took him home he seemed fine he didnt eat much but he drank water and he was a little active. he chased my little girl through the house it was cute. well i went through papers and seen that his was born on jan. 18th 2009 and he had already had his 6 wks shots but there was no name written down as to who the vet was. next day he was a little less active and still not really eating, and i noticed he was having soft stool almost diareaha and spitting up like a newborn baby does so i tried to call the number for the lady i purchased him from and # disconected. on the 3rd day the 12th my little girl dropped him on the hard kitchen floor. omg i was so scared. he hit on his side and i held him a min. then put him down to make sure he was walking fine. a few hours passed and he still seemed fine but with the other prob. of not eating i said im bringing him to the local animal hospital. i went there and told them everything she said he has fleas which is making him anemic which i had made an apt to go to a vet on the 27th of march to get shots and to treat fleas and then she said his blood sugar low and never mentioned anything about him falling just stayed stuck on the fleas. they gave him a capstar checked his poo and gave him a cerenia injection which i did not understand most of what the lady was saying. she said to go to vet next day. so i bombed my house for fleas next day and took him to a vet he was still vomiting and soft stool. vet really didnt communicate with me much either but he check his poo again looked him over i gave him paperwork from the animal hospital gave him another cerenia injection and a droncit injection and some recovery rs food and told me to litterly force feed him with this dropper thing and gave him frontline plus. he said bring him back on 27th for other shots. im like confused really bc i dont know what wrong with my puppy and now he is constantly sleeping not walking around much or playing he finally drank water by himself today though he just dont seem right ya know. and he stoped vomiting until today he vomited clear liquid up a few times today. march 16th. which i know im gonna call vet tommorow and be like hey he still sick. but idk. can anyone help me and explain anything to me. i am so worried bc he just seem sad. his tale has not wagged since 1st day it stays between his legs. thanks.

“Mommy, I can’t sleep,” moans a tired little girl as she walks into her mother’s bedroom. “Well come lay with me then,” the mother replies as she sits up and pats the empty space beside her. The little girl, holding her old teddy bear walks up to her mother’s bed and hops onto the thick quilt. Her mother grabs hold of her in a warm embrace. “I had the scary dream again.” The mother gives her daughter a friendly smile. “Don’t worry, monsters aren’t real.” “But it was so scary,” the girl shutters. “Aren’t we getting a little old for this?” The mother sighs. The girl closed her eyes as the dream that she had just experienced replayes over and over again in her head. “You need to get your sleep, tomorrow’s going to be a big day.” But the girl was already drifting off into a peaceful slumber. Her mother pulled her closer and soon both of them were fast asleep.

My eyes opened to the off white ceiling and slowly revolving wooden fan of a small room. I was laying on my back on top of a hard mattress with blue sheets gently strewn across my body. The bed I was laying on had metal safety bars on each side. I tilted my head to the left. I saw large silver machines with tubes and wires leading into my stomach, chest and nose. To my right was a table with flowers, my teddy bear and pictures of me, my mother, father and older cousins all standing up in frames. Across from my bed were a few chairs and a large window with white lace curtains drawn across the glass. A dim light was shinning from behind the lace and I figured it to be the sun rising or setting. At first I thought that I was home, in my mothers bed, but I quickly dismissed that delusional thought. This was not my mom’s bedroom. I was in a hospital room. I took a moment, taking this all in before I gathered up all my energy and slowly picked up my arm and lifted up the blue sheets. I tried to let out a scream, but a stifled whisper was all that I could manage.
I was looking down upon a long torso and a pair of lanky legs that were not mine. I was trapped in the body of a teenager. Where was my child body? I raised my hands up to my face and felt around to the back of my head. I felt a slight comfort as I touched my familiar curly auburn hair. I grabbed my hair and followed each strand down to where it stopped at my lower back. Where had my short hair gone? The next thing I noticed were the trickles of liquid running down my face. This has to be a dream, I silently thought. I closed my eyes and more tears dropped down my face. I squeezed my eyelids down harder and harder until I couldn’t squeeze anymore. I scrunched my face together as much as I could, but when I tilted my head up and opened my eyes all I saw was the same white ceiling and wooden fan. This was not a dream. This was real and it was happening.
Just then a nurse walked into the room, holding a bouquet of flowers in a glass vase. But there was something different about this woman. She had a certain weary look to her-something that I had never encountered before. Once she looked up and noticed my frantic stare the vase fell from her grip and shattered onto the linoleum floor. One look into her dark, cold eyes and all the happiness was drained out of me. All I could do was stare into them. “Chey-Chey-Cheyenne?” The nurse managed to stutter out. I froze. Her voice sounded tired and had a certain rusty tone to it. “Yes?” I managed to respond, though it only came out as a whisper. For the next few seconds all we did was look at each other. Her eyes appeared to be almost as frightened as mine must have looked. Then she walked out of the room.
A few minutes later she returned with a doctor who had the same dull appearance as the nurse. One of the doctors came right up to my bed and kneeled on the floor in front of me. “Cheyenne?” He asked. “How do you feel?” I could tell by his voice that he was very concerned. At first I was afraid to answer. “How-How did I get here?” I frantically asked. “Where’s my mom!” I screamed, this time even louder. The doctor stood up, took a step back and put up his hands in defense. “I am trying to help you, Cheyenne. Please listen to me.” “No! Where’s my mom!? Where am I!?” The words poured from my mouth as I frantically kicked and screamed with all my might. “Help! Help Me!” I yelled as I ripped out the tubes and wires from my nose, chest and stomach. The machines went wild with noise. I sensed the doctor trying to calm me down but I wasn’t listening. I was doing all I could in my one-woman revolt. I was too pre-occupied to notice the swarm of nurses and doctors that had just surrounded me and the liquid being injected by needle into my arm. Suddenly my eyelids drooped down and I lost all intentions of rebellion against this place. Instead, I let my thoughts wander off to a moment in my life that was all forgotten until recalled in a dream.

“Where are we going, mommy?” A young girl with shoulder length curly auburn hair asks her mother. “We’re going to go on a little vacation. Doesn’t that sound fun?” The mother replies as she slams her suitcase shut. The little girl nods and hugs her teddy bear. “Well lets go,” the mother whispers. She picks up the suitcase with one hand and grabs hold of the little girl’s with the other. Together they walk down the stairs of their apartment. When they reach the front door, a doorman with a kind smile greets them. “Let me take that for you,” he says in a deep friendly voice as he grabs the woman’s suitcase and leads them to the street. A chilly December wind nips at the girl’s nose as she hugs her bear even tighter. “Taxi!” He shouts as he waves his free hand in the air. A yellow cab rolls to a stop in front of the building. The doorman opens the backseat door and nods to the woman. The mother and her daughter climb into the backseat as the doorman hands her their luggage. “You take care now, Mrs. Dearn” he says in a friendly tone. “Don’t worry Al, I will.” “And you take care of that bear now, little missy,” he smiled towards the little girl. And in return, she grinned back. With a final wave, he slammed the cab door shut and watched as it drove off. Into the night. “Brooklyn, please,” the woman told the cab driver. The little girl turned around and watched as her home faded off into the distance. Little did she know that that would be the last time that she would ever see it again.

I opened my eyes to the same white ceiling and brown fan above me. But this time I wasn’t alone in this room. Over by the window, a woman sat in on of the chairs. When she looked up at me, I realized who it was. “Katie,” I whispered. “Yeah, it’s me,” she replied as she stood up and walked over to where I was laying. She had the same dreadful look as the doctor and the nurse, but it wasn’t just that. For a moment I had to look away. I had finally realized what was going on. I had been unconscious for a long time. I thought back to the last time I saw Katie. It was at Thanksgiving, in Brooklyn and all of my cousins had gathered together just for the holiday. I was eleven and she was thirteen. Looking at her now, I’ve come to see how much time had really passed. Katie was a woman now. She was no longer that beautiful, witty pre-teen that I remembered and I was no longer that chubby cheeked, care-free little girl that I once was. Now there was one thing that I needed to know. “How long has it been?” Katie took a seat on the edge of my bed and grabbed a hold of my hand. “Five years,” she whispered. I was sixteen-years old. No, I was trapped in the body of my sixteen-year old self. Then the tears started again, running down my cheeks and trickling off my chin. Katie let go of my hand and just held me. And for the first time since I had woken up, I felt safe.
Once I had stopped crying, she let me go. There was still so much that I wanted to find out. “Katie, what happened to me?” I said as I sniffled. “You went into a coma. They said it was because of head trauma.” “But…How did I go into a coma?” Katie looked up at me and for a second I saw something other than dread in her eyes. I saw sincerity. “You mean, you don’t remember the accident?”

The mother and her daughter were riding down the streets of Manhattan in the back of a taxi cab. Outside, a light snow had just begun to fall and the sun was quickly setting. “Are we going to Auntie Janet’s house?” the little girl looked up at her mom with curious eyes. The mother smiled in return. “Yes we are. You’re going to get to see your cousin Katie again.” The little girl smiled as she looked out the window. The cab driver had just turned onto a highway and soon enough he took the exit towards Brooklyn. For the little girl, the next few events seemed to happen in slow motion. Just then, the car in front of them took a sharp turn to the right and a set of blinding headlights appeared, it was another car coming straight towards them and they were going to be hit head on. There was no time to scream. There was no time to get out of the way. There was no time to do anything but sit there and wait to be hit.

“Cheyenne? Cheyenne?” Katie’s voice appeared in the background as I was knocked out of my disturbing reverie. “Yes, I remember,” I whispered. “And my mom?” My voice cracked at the last word. “The driver died at the scene but you and your mom were rushed to the hospital “You went into a coma, but your mom died the next day.” I bowed my head in silence. There were no more tears now I had heard the worst of it, or so I thought.
“When do I get out of here?” I said, my voice showing nothing but grievance. For a moment Katie looked scared, like she was lying to me about something and her cold dark eyes showed how frightened she really was. “oh…well, their going to have to take some tests…” “You’re keeping something from me” “No I’m not.” Katie tried to smile and let out a laugh. “Please don’t lie to me. I can handle anything.” Katie stood up and looked down upon me. “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Please, just get your rest. I’ll answer any questions you have tomorrow, but I really have to go now.” “Katie! Wait!” But she was gone.
P.S- i’ll give you a glimpse of the ending-when katie comes the next day she tells her how the world has changed. its the year 2012 and the world is full of war and strife and dullness. america pretty much went into a depression. and cheys the only one left with "color to her face". almost everyone she knew is dead. the rest is about chey trying to deal with this new world and in the end she brings all the dull ppl happiness. im working on it!

The City Sleeps

Is it only dawn
When the city does sleep?
A soul in a window,
And her face just weeps.
Shadowed youth in neon light
From the bar downstairs

Where chairs upon tables,
It has long since closed.
Silent ghosts of laughter,
And the waiters gone home.
To wives and love and sleep,
The warmth they know

To warmth left unfelt,
By those below.
In subways and sewers
Where life’s like a blow,
Into his broken ribs
Broken for the show

Of another lost boy.
Another gang, another ghetto.
Stopped going to school,
He saw something better:
A chance to belong,
And to more than just religion

Which is all that she’s got.
The little girl tells a preacher
‘Mamma’s crying never stops’
and she told her teacher:
That all that’s left is God;
but she doesn’t believe that either

Nor he atop a building.
Turning back: another failure.
Life goes on, doesn’t want it.
Just to fly away from everything.
The world he didn’t fit into,
Past a million different windows

Where a million different faces-
forever will glow,
Through windows and doors,
Neon lights and streetlight yellow.
Where children weep.
Where doors are closed.

And eyes are open.
And the city sleeps.

thanky!

Well, I hope I don’t embarrass myself too much by telling y’all this but it needs to be done.

I was in an Italian restaurant in a lay-by with my family. The place had a red carpet with dark furniture and white tablecloths. It wasn’t classy, and it wasn’t busy. We sat against a wall opposite the bar and we were waiting for our food.
Which never came. We waited and waited until it was almost closing time and the staff were clearing up. I called out to one of the waiters about our food, and only remember that he looked at me with a disgusted type of face, which confused me.
At the next table across was another family, and a girl I know (an annoying little girl from school, who used to know my little brother). I was just about to get up to go to the toilet when she said something along the lines of, "Hey, you may as well leave. In the holidays, who would want to go out with YOU?"
This is something that happens a lot, indirectly, in real life, as because I get good grades I am considered something of a nerd at school. There is another Chinese girl in my year who is constantly favoured over me, because she is taller, prettier and generally more desirable than me. I’m not hurt by this, as I am actually very good friends with her. What I am insulted by are the assumptions made about me. In my dream I slammed my hands down on the table and filled with fury I left the restaurant, turning over as many tables as I could as a girl.
I ran behind the buildings towards the woods. Though I’m not a fast runner in real life and grew out of breath quickly, I persevered. I ran over the wooded hill, through a crowd of nature tourists, over a steep concrete walkway to the other side, where there was a quiet road and, over its right bank, a play park from a previous dream.
I went to the swings, but before I arrived at them the park turned into a small room with pink walls, like a nursery or a Sunday school. I was able to find sanctuary here, and was vaguely aware that I was high in the mountains now. I was welcome to sleep here, and for the rest of that day I watched tv on the floor with an older girl who looked after the kids, and played with some virtual pets who lived in a large Nintendo DS which could open up like a box – I remember these little brown creatures to have loved me very much, and would have been sad to leave them if I didn’t bear in mind that they would become annoying in time. I was very happy until my cousin, who is in his twenties, found me at the sanctuary. I turned around. The dream ended shortly afterwards.

THIS IS A LITTLE LONG SORRY
3 People in a Airplane-
Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of
an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of
the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she
thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then
the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it
was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they
landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little
girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl,
why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came
down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy
who
was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy,
why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came
down
and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on
the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you
laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the
building behind me blew up!!"

She was tired of everyone thinking that blondes were stupid, and she didn’t like all these jokes. To end the injustice, she decided to prove to the world that she was smart.

In order to prove herself, she chose to memorize the capital of every American state. It wasn’t an easy task, but she was determined and eventually managed to do it.

A few days later she was in a bar, and heard a couple of men laughing at a blonde joke. This was the perfect opportunity to start righting all the wrongs that had been done to blondes in the past – she would set these men straight!

Marching over at a rapid pace she announced,
"It isn’t true that all blondes are stupid, and I will prove it. Just ask me the capital of any American state, and I will tell you what it is."

Although a little surprised, the men did challenge her and asked,
"Ok, how about Arizona?"

The Blonde, after pausing for a moments thought, proudly gave the answer, "A"!

Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette – the blonde would have to stop for directions!

——————————————————————————–

The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

——————————————————————————–

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle!"

——————————————————————————–

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

"For best results, put on two coats".

——————————————————————————–

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:

"I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It’s starting to rain and the top is down!

——————————————————————————–

Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.

The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

"I think they could be bird tracks."

The second blonde went to look and said,

"No, I think these are deer tracks."

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!

——————————————————————————–

A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

"You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

——————————————————————————–

A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,

"You dumb blonde bimbo! It’s blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I’d come out there and give you what’s coming to you!"

——————————————————————————–

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O’cl

A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.

She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box."

The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail."

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Blonde Jokes

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2", weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6’5" pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."

Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of
an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of
the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she
thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then
the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it
was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they
landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little
girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl,
why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came
down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy
who
was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy,
why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came
down
and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on
the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you
laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the
building behind me blew up!!"(i love this joke)!!

A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that’s the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde replies, "I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Detroit and I’m staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there’s a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I’m blonde, I’m beatiful, I’m going to Detroit and I’m staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this. I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I’m sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn’t going to Detroit."

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him , but every time he could not answer hers, he’d give her .00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him . then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde .00

The blonde put the into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him . (love this one to)

Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, "What’s the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away."

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl, "Why don’t you go home for the day…we aren’t terribly busy. Just take
the day off and go relax."

Sally very calmly states, "No I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. "If you need anything just let me know" says the boss.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically.

He rushes over an asks, "What’s the matter now? Are you going to be ok?"

Sally breaks down in tears. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!"(luv this 1 to)

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can’t find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have even pulled you over. You can go now."

okai probably tired of readin…

4 mre::http://www.coolblondejokes.com/FunnyJokes/BlondeCops.shtml
by the time yu finsh reading this(this sentence), yud realize yu jus wastedd 10-15 second of yur life..
there is no limit of characters in the question description

1.Put your sweet lips a little closer to the phone. . .
2.Im your best friend and you know it’s right but your young bride aint home tonight. . .
3.go down the road called yesterday take a left down the lost highway….
4.I introduced her to my loved one and while they were dancing. . .
5.If you like the taste of lobster stew served by a window with a ocean view. . .
6.in this town there lived an outlaw by the name of texas red. .
7.if you see me comming better step aside lota men didnt and a lota men died. . .
8.today I sat alone at the window and I watched our little girl outside play. .
9.he walked into the bar and parked his lanky frame up on a tall bar stool. .
10.if there were sweethearts in the park he’d pass the lamp and leave it dark. .
good luck!