The bartender notices and asks the man "whats going on?"

The man replies " I got tired of carrying around a cell phone and losing it…so I had a phone inserted into my hand…..now I can call my wife, work or friends whenever I want"

The bartender replied that this was impossible.

The man asked the bartender for his phone # and dialed it on his hand, held his hand to the bartender’s ear and let him hear the dial tone.

The bartender repied that this was incredible and would have to look into having it done himself.

With that the man excused himself to the restroom. 5 minutes went by, then 10 and the bartender became worried.

The bartender went to the restroom door and knocked, with no reply. Finally the bartender throws open the door and found the man spread-eagle up against the wall with his pants down and a piece of toilette paper hanging from his a**.

The bartender asked "are you OK?"

The man replies " yes, I’m receiving a fax"

Hello Everyone,

My name is Christina, I just turned 22. Well for off and on 3months I was having light red rectual bleeding when going to the restroom (I didnt really feel like i was constipated then.) Ok so i went to the ER doc which she said i had an anal fissure so she proscribed me some over the counter stool softner. That didnt work!! SO i waited about 2-3 weeks until I went to my Family DOC. and she proscribed me some liquid kinds stuff you take every morning which HELP me so much shes also requested that I see some "GI" Im really nervous when i think about it i start gettn sweaty and my stomach hurts. So my rectum has stop bleeding since she gave me that liquid stuff but Im still kinda constipated i dont know if its me just trying to make my self go bc i wanna see what happens when it comes out but… IM REALLY SCARED to see this SPECIAL BUTT DOCTOR!! Please gove me your advice… Im 22, on the chunky side, suffer from axiety and panick attacks, I HAVE NO HISTORY OF COLON CANCER IN MY FAMILY!

Rate my joke from 1-10. Here it is: Justin Bieber Walks into a bar, and asks to use a restroom. The bartender replies ‘over there young lady" in a serious tone. Being the "Genius" justin is, he walks cockily to the bar, and says "Exuse me?" in a tough guy voice. The bartender then says "i said the ladies restroom is over there." in a serious tone again. Justin then gets on one of the bar stools and stands to become level with the bartender. Justin asks "you trying to pitch a fight tough guy?" The bartender tells him to get off the chair and asks him where his mother is. justin then proceeds to kick a bottle of beer over, and runs out of the bar, leaving a trail of urine behind him. a minute after justin runs out, a man runs in asking if he just saw an olson twin in the bar.

So I went out with my best friend and her girlfriend to a gay bar last night and as I was checking out the go go dancers on stage this girl came up to me and asked if I was taken. I knew she was not my type right off the bat I said yes (I’m single by the way) so I walked away and started dancing with my friends then I notice this really beautiful girl. I went up to her and started a Conversation about the go go dancer’s and asked what she thought of them. I decided to ask where her girlfriend or boy friend was she pulled me close put her hands on my neck as she talked into my ear since there was loud music playing and said she’s single and that she did not like men that she was there with a few friends. I decided to go tip one of the go go boys so I walked away to get change and as I was doing that the girl that asked me if I was taken previously asked who I was there with. I pointed at the beautiful girl I had just met. (her name’s Frannkie ) tipped the go go boy and the dude had the nerve to kiss me on the lips (pervert!) lol I walked back to chat with frannkie and told her I had a girl stalker there and asked her if she would pretend to be my girlfriend she said "yeah" my friends went outside so after struggling for 10mins of trying to hear what she was saying (loud music) I grabbed her hand took her outside with me and pulled up chairs and sat down. She was sitting across from me and she put her legs between mine. We talked for about an hour it was mostly her talking. (We have a lot in common) She made me aware she had to use the restroom and she asked her best friend to go with her and she said I’ll be right back DON’T GO anywhere. I smiled at her and waited.She came back we talked some more she was really close to me and smiled a lot and told me she felt really comfortable with me. when it was time to go she said let me have your number and she text me right away and as we were both leaving the parking lot I told her to text me when she got hm and she did. So friendly or interested? Thanks!

So went downtown last night to chase some broads. When I got to this new bar which opened right in the middle of the strip. I walked in without paying attention too much to the cluster of guys outside, since it was kinda early. I got to the bar and noticed that there weren’t very many women in there, and the ones that were taller than I like for the most part.

After sitting in there for about an hour I was getting pretty tired of the disco music and was getting ready to leave, until I realized it was a gay bar. I didn’t want to leave right away and appear prejudiced, so I hung around for a while. I have to say this was the cleanest bar I’d ever been to. The guys there were really particular about how the furniture was arranged. I must have had a half dozen guy ask to push in my stool. I thought it was leaning back a bit, but no more than a couple feet.

I just decided to leave after that and got up to use the restroom before I left. There was a bit of a line, but it moved relatively quickly. I was going to use a stall, but there was a hole in between the stalls (which I thought odd since the place was new). So I used the urinal and the men’s room attendant came over to help me shake off, which was weird but since I am not gay I guess I wouldn’t know the customs. It was an unusual experience to say the least.

All in all I can say I won’t go back, but it was kinda fun. Are gay guys usually this particluar about feng shui?

So went downtown last night to chase some broads. When I got to this new bar which opened right in the middle of the strip. I walked in without paying attention too much to the cluster of guys outside, since it was kinda early. I got to the bar and noticed that there weren’t very many women in there, and the ones that were taller than I like for the most part.

After sitting in there for about an hour I was getting pretty tired of the disco music and was getting ready to leave, until I realized it was a gay bar. I didn’t want to leave right away and appear prejudiced, so I hung around for a while. I have to say this was the cleanest bar I’d ever been to. The guys there were really particular about how the furniture was arranged. I must have had a half dozen guy ask to push in my stool. I thought it was leaning back a bit, but no more than a couple feet.

I just decided to leave after that and got up to use the restroom before I left. There was a bit of a line, but it moved relatively quickly. I was going to use a stall, but there was a hole in between the stalls (which I thought odd since the place was new). So I used the urinal and the men’s room attendant came over to help me shake off, which was weird but since I am not gay I guess I wouldn’t know the customs. It was an unusual experience to say the least.

All in all I can say I won’t go back, but it was kinda fun. Are gay guys usually this particluar about feng shui?

I have fibro, clustrophia and lower back issues that are awaiting surgery. I used a handicap stall in a restroom for the room & the bars to help me up & was verbally abused by a woman in a wheel chair. It was humiliating and degrading & I need the bars just as much as she does.

what are some furniture’s in a bathroom or restroom, garage, and kitchen

Unfortunately I have had hard stools for about a week to two weeks. I also think that I might have a tear because of this. This is concerning to me and I really don’t want to take something over the counter. (Just because I have no idea when I will need to use the restroom because the medicine has kicked in.) Also are there foods I should be avoiding? i.e.; sugar, processed foods, ECT. Thank you for the help.

I booked airfare without him knowing ( I am taking him on a surprise vacation ) I stuck the airline tickets in between an anniversary card .

Now I am just wondering how I should hand off the envelope to him in a creative way ? He is picking me up straight after work to go to the restaurtant & bar . I will have the envelope in my bag , I was planning on waiting until after he left the table to use the restroom , and then I sneak the envelope onto his bar stool . . .

Does anyone else have any better ideas ?

A while later a huge guy walked into the bar and he went up to the little guy and karate chopped him in the back. The little guy fell off his bar stool and when he got up the big guy said, ”That was a karate chop from Korea.”

The big guy went to the restroom and the little guy ordered himself another beer. About 20 minutes later the big guy came back and karate chopped the little guy in the back again. The little guy got up and dusted himself off and the big guy told him,”That was a karate chop from China.”

The little guy got up and decided he wasn’t going to take any more of this, so he left the bar. About an hour later the little guy comes back to the bar and he hits the big guy in the back. The big guy is knocked out cold and he’s on the floor. The little guy tells the bartender , ”Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears!”