An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight-lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

‘Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?’

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, ‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.’

Hey to all of you that don’t know I am a fireman but due to the low pay that firemen receive I have a second job as a waiter to help tide me by. Anyway about two weeks ago I was working at the restaurant and it was very slow(no customers) so I was sitting down in the manager’s office while he was up front hanging out at the bar. Anyway two female coworkers of mine came inside the little3 13×13 office. One sat in a chair. The other ignored a vacant chair and plopped right on my lap. She began to bounce and grind against my crotch. I just caressed her thighs and her "upper body". Of course this woke up the man in my base. I know she felt it because she moved in closer and grinded harder. The hostess came to the back and told her that she had given her some customers that walked in. They both left. The woman in the chair just stared at me and smiled. The other waitress came back and did the same thing to me again and the same thing happened again. I guess my questions are, Women why do you sit in a guys lap?, Do you expect the erection that is soon to follow, and Do you know that this type of thing happens in the back of restaurants all the time? 10 points for best thorough answer.

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

"Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times

A blind man wanders into a Female Biker Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it’s only fair, given that you’re blind, that you should know five things:

1) The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2) The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3) I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4) The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5) The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."

If you didn’t laugh then you must be blonde.
All blondes, please no answers like "I don’t get it". Thanks!

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

"Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds
his
way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for
awhile, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep husky
voice,
the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think
it
is only fair — given that you are blind — that you should know
five
things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in
karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional
weightlifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that
joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "No.
Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."

http://www.icanspeel.com

Formatting didn’t turn out too well

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker
bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some
coffee.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the
waiter, "Hey, you
?wanna hear a blonde? joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a
very deep, husky
voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell
that joke, Cowboy,
I? think it is only fair,? given that you are
blind,? that you should
know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball
bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde woman.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde gal with a
black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a
professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a
professional wrestler.

"Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still
wanna tell that?
?joke?"

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his
head, and mutters,
"No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five
times."

Here you go. Enjoy your day. Place a star if you liked it.

The blind cowboy——

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

‘Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?’

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,

‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.’

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He winds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight-lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

‘Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?’

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,

‘HELL NO…. not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times…’

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight-lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

‘Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?’

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, ‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.’

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair — given that you are blind — that you should know five things:
- The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
- The bouncer is a blonde girl.
- I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
- The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
- The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No… Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
ohh and i have another type of joke coming up. it’ll be named HOW THEY DO IT!!! so look for it

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
"No . . . Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."

Okay so, for my 18th i’m thinking of renting a nearby hall and turning it into a kind of nightclub theme, i was wondering what the cost would be for it, heres the details
- Alcohol for 750 people
- Bar hire x 2
- Lighting
- Dj hire
- waiter hire
- Security guard hire
- Equipment needed for bars
- 2 x minibars
- tables, chairs ect
- Speaker set up
- Lighting crew
- Large TV display
- 15 dance performers
And anything else you think is needed, i just want the estimated cost. You might think I’m crazy but i want it to be a awsome night, and parents have agreed to pay it (I’m pretty sure they can afford whatever)

Thanks!

The most embarrassing thing happened today. My dad took me and my older sister out to lunch. Well my dad walks into the resteraunt talking on the phone really loud and we were sitting in the middle of the room. My dad had his chair turned out talking on the phone loud, legs open like he was in a freaking sports bar. I wanted to die. Then when the waiter came my dad sat there for ten minutes making the waiter stand there because he couldn’t find something with both a burrito and beans (we were eating mexican) and he was complaining it wouldn’t be enough food for him omg! Anyways finally he orders and my dads friend who he hasn’t seen in a while comes over and they are sitting there talking all loud and what not and I’m trying to figure out WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU WE ARE IN A FLIPPIN’ RESTERAUNT YOUR A 43 YEAR OLD MAN NOT A 5 YEAR OLD USE SOME MANNERS!! I love my dad but now I’m kind of afraid to go out to eat with him. I don’t know what to do.

My Wife and I have a short but colorful history:

I am 35, she is 24
I grew up in Florida, she grew up in Vermont

January 2006 – We met in Florida in school
April 2006 – Started dating, (we were both heavy drinkers and partiers, night clubs, beach bars, etc.)
August 2006 – Found out she was pregnant
September 2006 – I tried to take care of my credit card debt or ,000 by calling a "Debt Consolidation" firm
December 2006 – Moved up to Vermont to be close to her family
January 2007 – Found out that my identity had been stolen and my credit cards were maxed out. I now am in ,000 in credit card debt. Plus our school loans. ,000
April 2007 – Our daughter was born

The first year we tried really hard and I worked as a waiter, she stayed home to raise our daughter. We had financial difficulties throughout the year, I obviously wasn’t paying the credit cards or school loans, we barely made rent each month.

January 2008 – My wife found God and became a born-again Christian.

March 2008 – After several attempts to control what had become a growing problem with alcohol I ended up going on a ten day drinking binge. She left to her parents house and I stayed in the apartment and tried to drink myself to death with wine and stayed drunk for ten days. My mother in-law ended up calling the police and they came to the apartment and found my laying on the floor naked and bloody, covered in my own urine and vomit. They took me away. I went to rehab for 21 days.

Since then I haven’t had a drink or touched any substance. (Almost ten months now)

April 2008 – I got out of rehab and we got married on April 15th. Shortly after we joined the local church and we were baptized together.

Over the summer of 2008 I was unemployed, we moved to a new apartment and started a new life. I felt like a new man and she seemed very happy.

August 2008 – Found a great new job with the promise of a life-long career building furniture. I am very happy and working quite a bit (6 days a week)

Since then money is still tight but getting better. My wife continues to stay home with our daughter, now 20 months. However, she is very upset with me about many things. I don;t chip in enough with the housework. I need to devote more of my free time to bible study, prayer, and devotionals. We need to tithe, (donate), more of my pay to the church. I stay up too late sometimes and when I am tired the next day my behavior reminds her of me being drunk. I forget to put my dirty socks in the hamper.

She claims that she has changed and become a Christian and I haven’t and it’s not good. However, since she’s Christian she can’t leave me because she made a promise top God. I want to stay together but I am having a hard time complying to all the rules of Chritianity. She has stopped wanting to kiss and be affectionate now, however, talks about having more kids still? Recently she told me that she actually never liked kissing in the first place. Also, she says she’s way too tired from being a homemaker to have a libido. I feel she gets enough sleep, she gets up at 9 or 10 AM and goes to bed at about 11 PM.

I don’t know what to do. Please, some advice!!
I wanted to add that I don’t think she loves me and feels that she really screwed up by getting with me in the first place. Now she’s poor and has a kid and is stuck with an old man. Also, she really wants a house now and wants me to pay the ,000 off and not claim bankruptcy. I have know idea how I would ever be able to. I make an hour before taxes. We’re on food stamps 2 a month though, which helps. She left me in October, went to her Mom and Dad’s, but then came back when she got in a fight with her Mom and realized she had no place to go. She just really can’t stand me, but at the same time is still planning a future and more children and stuff.