Hi, i slipped on a wet floor and cut my neck open on a upside down chair leg. I went to the hospital in a ambulance. Then i saw the doctors about 3 times for my pain and scars. I have a lawyer. How much money do you think i can win?

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals
2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code
in Warehouses,…”and see what happens.
3. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.
4.Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid or a display of
something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing
that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.
5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale,
All Items 99% Off”
6. Buy a 0 item and pay for it all in pennies. Lose count at least
two times.
7. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from ‘Mission Impossible’.
8. Move a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
9. Sit down and relax on the patio furniture until they kick you out
10. Set up a tent in the camping department
11. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick
your nose.
12. Take pictures of absolutely everything.
13. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why
can’t you people just leave me alone?
14. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK
ME! PICK ME!”
17. See what you can “catch” by casting fishing poles into different
isles.
18. Play football and see how many people you can get to join in.
19. Play soccer using the whole store as your field
20. Try on bras over your clothes in the middle of the store.
21. Try to get people to race you across the store.
22. Sit on the floor and watch T. V. in the electronics department.
23. Pretend to speak a different language and see how many weird looks
you get
24. Super glue quarters to the floor and count how many people try to
pick them up
25. Switch all the radios to strange stations suck as polka or Mexican
rap and turn the volume all the way up.
26. Fill up carts and just leave them around the store.
27. When someone is behind you in a narrow aisle, walk very slowly,
humming to yourself.
28. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and pretend to be superman.
30. Walk up to random strangers and say “I haven’t seen you in so
long!” etc.
31. Do the same thing, except ask for their autograph.
32. Play Red Rover with other customers. Except don’t tell them that
they’re playing.
33. Test brushes and combs
34. Take up an entire toy aisle with a G. I. Joe vs. Rescue Heroes
battle of epic proportions.
35. Take bets on the battle.
36. Have sword fights with tubes of wrapping paper.
37. Follow people.
38. Play with the price scanners.
39. Spray air-freshener everywhere.
40. Play with the automatic doors.
41. Make a pillow fort.
43. Shopping cart races. Enough said.
44. Crawl into gym bags and laundry hampers.
48. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s
49. “Re-alphabetize” the books.
50. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,
quickly make off with it without saying a word.
51. Running around the store screaming Walmart stinks, Walmart stinks
let’s go to target!
52. Buy a candy bar. Eat it. Get back in line. Buy another candy bar.
Eat it. Get back in line. Repeat until you get bored.
53. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines, relax and if
the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t
get out much, ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
57. Spill clear soap down an aisle.
58. Talk to the lady at the cash register for a whole 20 minutes about
unicorns.
59. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream.”NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!!”
60. Pretend to be a monkey and get on all fours screaming
“Oo-oo-aaa-aa!” And attack whoever buys bananas
61.Run up and down aisle with underwear on your head singing" I’m captain underpants until someone stops you
62.Open three packs of tissue and blow your nose in them and give them to other customers.
63.Take a bottle of tooth paste and wright"I was here"
64.Do the worm in the middle of the store.
65. Run around the store yelling"Code 4"

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals
2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code
in Warehouses,…”and see what happens.
3. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.
4.Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid or a display of
something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing
that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.
5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale,
All Items 99% Off”
6. Buy a 0 item and pay for it all in pennies. Lose count at least
two times.
7. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from ‘Mission Impossible’.
8. Move a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
9. Sit down and relax on the patio furniture until they kick you out
10. Set up a tent in the camping department
11. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick
your nose.
12. Take pictures of absolutely everything.
13. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why
can’t you people just leave me alone?
14. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK
ME! PICK ME!”
17. See what you can “catch” by casting fishing poles into different
isles.
18. Play football and see how many people you can get to join in.
19. Play soccer using the whole store as your field
20. Try on bras over your clothes in the middle of the store.
21. Try to get people to race you across the store.
22. Sit on the floor and watch T. V. in the electronics department.
23. Pretend to speak a different language and see how many weird looks
you get
24. Super glue quarters to the floor and count how many people try to
pick them up
25. Switch all the radios to strange stations suck as polka or Mexican
rap and turn the volume all the way up.
26. Fill up carts and just leave them around the store.
27. When someone is behind you in a narrow aisle, walk very slowly,
humming to yourself.
28. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and pretend to be superman.
30. Walk up to random strangers and say “I haven’t seen you in so
long!” etc.
31. Do the same thing, except ask for their autograph.
32. Play Red Rover with other customers. Except don’t tell them that
they’re playing.
33. Test brushes and combs
34. Take up an entire toy aisle with a G. I. Joe vs. Rescue Heroes
battle of epic proportions.
35. Take bets on the battle.
36. Have sword fights with tubes of wrapping paper.
37. Follow people.
38. Play with the price scanners.
39. Spray air-freshener everywhere.
40. Play with the automatic doors.
41. Make a pillow fort.
43. Shopping cart races. Enough said.
44. Crawl into gym bags and laundry hampers.
48. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s
49. “Re-alphabetize” the books.
50. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,
quickly make off with it without saying a word.
51. Running around the store screaming Walmart stinks, Walmart stinks
let’s go to target!
52. Buy a candy bar. Eat it. Get back in line. Buy another candy bar.
Eat it. Get back in line. Repeat until you get bored.
53. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines, relax and if
the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t
get out much, ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
57. Spill clear soap down an aisle.
58. Talk to the lady at the cash register for a whole 20 minutes about
unicorns.
59. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream.”NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!!”
60. Pretend to be a monkey and get on all fours screaming
“Oo-oo-aaa-aa!” And attack whoever buys bananas
61.Run up and down aisle with underwear on your head singing" I’m captain underpants until someone stops you
62.Open three packs of tissue and blow your nose in them and give them to other customers.
63.Take a bottle of tooth paste and wright"I was here"
64.Do the worm in the middle of the store.
65. Run around the store yelling"Code 4"

I’m the most unlucky person in the entire kingdom. Trouble finds me wherever I go. Every village and every town I visit trouble lurks around every corner, waiting to ambush me. My every step leads to trouble. I often asked myself “Why did I choose messenger as my life’s work?" No good ever came of it. By some divine power my life was always spared, getting away just in the nick of time. I swear the king was attempting to assassinate me. A small man of my size sent to deliver bad news always turned out dangerous. I’m the first one they decided to attack. I’m the bearer of bad news, not the perpetrator. This time it was no different. I was sent to deliver a message to two twin brothers.

Delivering the message was quite easy. I should have known that trouble was looking for me. What was the message you ask? I was told to tell each brother that the other was the culprit that murdered their parents. Who’s the real culprit? Why the king himself. To blame the brothers would get him off the hook. He knew sooner or later they would come for him. So in turn, he decided to turn them on each other. I delivered the message first to Tristan.

Entering the small village, people stared upon seeing a new face. Establishments and homes lined the main street of the village. Flowers hung from every window, the plant covered walls visually linked the green landscape surrounding the area. I found him in a rundown pub, sitting at the bar counter. He was a dark scary looking figure, so naturally I thought my deliverance would end in a fight. The pub was hot and dark inside. Searching around, I was surprised to see very few people inside. The wet floor caused me to slip as I drew near.

“Are you Tristan?”

He glanced up from his drink and eyed me up and down. Sadly, I’m not the toughest looking guy. His black hair hung in his eyes, which were horrid, intense balls of fire, burning through my soul. I can tell he hasn’t shaved in days and his lips were chapped. Looking at his filthy leather clothes, he was overdue for a bath as well.

“Who’s asking?” In what seemed like an instant, he chugged down his drink and stood just inches from my face.

“Umm…uh…well I’m Jameson; here to deliver a message to you from the king.” The pup went completely silent. Surly, every prying ear could hear me swallow my spit in a nervous gulp.

“So…..deliver”, he said, removing the hair from his eyes.

Nervously I replied, “Your parents sir, were murdered by none other than your brother Liam.”

I closed my eyes and braced myself, ready for an attack. A kick in the gut, a punch in the pie hole, but nothing happened. Peeking through one eye, I could see that he reclaimed his seat. He appeared crestfallen, deflated by my sour words. “No…..no…!” he screeched, as he banged his dirty fist against the counter. Suddenly, his faced brightened, a sparkle of hope twinkled in his cold grey eyes.

“Yes…..yes…,” he muttered.

In one motion he flung towards me, too fast for me to react. He seized hold of my shirt collar, hauled me into his face. The foul whiff of ale on his breath traveled down my nose, settling on the back of my throat. “Do you know what this means?” He repeated his question again as he shook me with little effort. “I finally, after so many agonizing years, get to avenge my parent’s death.” A wail of wild laughter escaped his lips. It unnerved me to have his face so close to mine. Germs are a fear of mine.

“Sir…you’re invading my personal space. Can you please unhand me?”

Slowly, he released his grip on my now smutty collar. I would never be able to remove the stains. He fell to his knees in a stream of violent tears.

“My only brother is the criminal. I must kill my one and only brother, in return for my parent’s murder to be avenged.”

Standing, he took hold of a chair from the bar, smashing it across the counter. That was my cue to leave. I crept backwards, increasing my speed as I moved closer to the door. Just as I barged from the pub a chair crashed against the door, which led the pub into an uproar. I departed to the sound of Tristan using bad language and furniture breaking.

Villagers watched as I retreated swiftly down the dirt road, daring not to look back. Asking around the village, I soon found Liam, his brother, at a small inn. Besides from his hairless face and clean appearance, he was the splitting image of his brother. He informed me that he was in town for the anniversary of his parent’s death and after visiting his parent’s grave, he would leave town.

“I come home every year to visit my parent’s grave site. Sadly though, I don’t get to see my brother much. He’s turned quite, how I can say this.” Liam ran a hand through his neatly trimmed hair. “unbalanced”.

We were seated at a table in the dining hall, waiting to be served. The sun gleamed through the opened windows, giving
the white dining hall a heavenly beauty. With the dining hall packed with guest, I became anxious. I have a thing about crowds. I adjusted my dirty collar and proceeded to deliver my message. “As you know, I’m here on business. The king has a message to convey of your parents murder.” Carthage sat alerted, eager to hear my reply. “Your brother Tristan has murdered your parents. The king himself was a witness to this.” Seeing that he was a much stable character then his brother, I feared not for my life. Minutes passed before he uttered a word.

“I would have never suspected my brother. He loved our parents too much.”

“I apologize for your lost and your situation.”

He stood and threw his napkin on the table.

“I must go now, where is he?” I can tell he was holding back anger, his face was turning red and his eyes glistened with tears.

“Where is he?” Inquired Carthage, trying hard to keep a calm façade.
“Ummmm……well”, was all I could muster.
How dare I lie to them after all that they’ve been through? I am a messenger of the king not a liar of the king. I’ve become a deceiver, a swindler and a cheat. If they found each other someone would die. With trouble out to get me, it was destined to be. I’m caught up in yet another message gone wrong. To my utter despair, the sound of Tristan yelling at the top of his lungs, bellowed down the hall.

“Carthage……..I know you’re in here!!!!!!! I followed the little messenger man. I can see your carriage.”

I followed Carthage as he headed towards his brother’s voice. “You’re right brother, I am here.” Carthage shrieked, catching me off guard.

“I knew it was your carriage. No one else has a horse with curls and bows in its hair.” shouted Tristan, voice drawing closer.

Once through the dining hall doors they flew at each other.
Fist flying and blood flowing, it was hard to digest. I wanted so bad to enterven, but I have a thing about blood and I’m not much of a fighter. I pride myself on being a lover. Two brothers born the same day, to the same parents tearing at each other’s throats. I shouldn’t have let this happen like this. I must tell them the truth, which would cost me my life. They were going to kill each other. Tristan pulled out his sword which was at his side. Carthage did the same. I knew trouble was just around the corner. And it found me.

To be continued…………..