time to leave her. How do i go about this?
details: live together in house for 2 years.
She cannot possibly make the payment on her own.
Only her name is on it so i could just go but i feel bad doing that
I also feel really bad leaving her 7 year old daughter.
Also when we bought the house i put up 3000 of my own money for downpay and payed half the payment every month. I dont think i would ever see that. I also bought just about everything in the house. Do i take the couchs, tvs, kitchen table, microwave, beds, patiio furniture, bbqpit, lawnmower, ect….?
she would only be left with one bed for her and daughter and a little tv.
the big issue is i know even a roommate would not work because she needs about 00 month from someone to make it work (i did the math)
I love her so much but i can tell she doesn’t love me anymore and has a plan to cheat on me (saw in email).
So staying with someone who wont let me touch her anymore and does nothing but bitch at me is out of the question. I posted up some issues we had on YA in the last couple days and everyone agrees to dump her ass. But what about her kid? what about the house? Should i wait till she actually goes thru with the cheating she is planning with this guy when he gets back in town in 10 days? Why do i feel so bad leaving her?
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You are truly one decent person, someone who has feelings, someone who does NOT deserve to be treated as she’s treated you. You’re rite in that you will NOT get the money back on the house, you’ll have to "chalk it up" to your end of the rent so to speak. By ALL RITES, everything you bgt. DOES in fact belong to you regardless. You did not ask her to cheat, she’s the one who did you wrong. Surely she cannot expect you to leave everything you worked hard to achieve & purchase on your own. IF she does, she’d completely being selfish, disrespectful & degrading to you. She should have tho’t about the consequences of her actions before she did this to you. You seem like far too good a person for the likes of her! I’m sorry, but the child is also hers. If needs be, it might even be wiser if she was w/her own father IF he’s in the picture at all. Actually, she does NOT deserve anything, nothing that is yours. You honestly cannot worry about everyone & keep putting yourself last. Comes a time when it’s time to think of & take care of YOU. She & she alone got herself into this mess. She is totally responsible for it ALL. You don’t know IF she has plans on having this person move in w/her or not. IF by chance she does, then does he deserve the comfort you’ve supplied for her? NO WAY! I’m a very fair person, much like it sounds you are, but comes a time where no one is going to look out for you but YOU! I would NOT wait for this "person" to get back in town. I would pack up every single thing that you bought & get out as soon as possible. This obviously is what she wants, this is what she does deserve to get. Please stick up for yourself & give her what she choose, what she wanted. Find a place to live, & move your belongings rite along w/you. Don’t forget, she IS being very disrespectful twds. you. Again, you do NOT know what her plans are as she surely did not include you in them. Get out NOW along w/EVERY SINGLE thing you bgt., you own. All the best to you, you DO deserve it. Save face, leave NOW…:)
Throw her a stack of one dollar bills…make sure that they fly all over in the air.
That’s what I do.
My stepdaughter is 7 and if my hubs and I split up I would still make time to see her.
I guess the ‘big man’ thing to do is leave her with the house and do you…she’s planing on cheating…dont stay where you’re not wanted just because she can’t afford the place…tell the guy she wants to fuck to pay the rent.
why dont you just talk to her about it,leave all the the stuff,so that she wont complain after 10 days??wait for 10 days and just leave her!!!or if you feel so bad leaving her then why dont you just"be friends"with her??
You feel bad for leaving her because you still love her and you care for the daughter.
You need to get over these feelings. She doesn’t love you, she plans to cheat you know this.
Sounds like she is currently not home? If so, leave now. Take what you want. If you actually paid for all those things, take what you want and leave her things you do not want. Don’t worry about the house. It’s not in your name. Don’t worry about how is she going to pay for the house. That’s her problem, not yours.
She is not owning up to the relationship. Why should you care how she will be after you leave.
thats horrible. maybe just give her enough to buy grocerys for the child and maybe a little bit of money for school but no money for the mom. I would get your stuff and move out. tell her that her stupid cheating plan sounds lyk **** and that you know what she was going to do because you are smarter than that. good answer^ its her house and if its under her name then so be it. she will have to find a way to pay. tell her good luck dumb ***.
hope i helped.
I suggest taking the kid with you and take the furniture with you. The guy she is planning to cheat on you with might as well take your wife in
since shes having an affair with him.
Your a nice guy my friend but you have to stop being a nice guy and put yourself first. Just leave and don’t think about anything she hasn’t has she?? Just take what is yours and go.. Good luck
you have the upper hand. tell her you saw her email. tell her what you’re thinking. you sound like a really nice person and i know you’re worried about her, but she knows what she is getting herself into when and if she cheats on you. talk to her.
i would plan to meet this man that she’s planning on cheating on you with and tell him to help her.
You feel bad about leaving her because you’ve had a relationship with her daughter. But, you need to leave. The child will come to terms with this, and if the mother is any kind of a decent human being, she will allow you to continue a relationship with her, but expect that to be put on hold for some time while your ex gets over her anger.
I would not stay for a minute longer, or I would suggest counseling, but if she isn’t interested (and if she’s cheating or wanting to cheat that is yet another reason to leave) I wouldn’t even bother with the suggestion.
-you must still love her
- you care about her daughter
-she hasn’t cheated yet
- have you talked to her about all of this
- a lawyer would help you understand the divorce process and dividing things up
- the little girl will suffer either way, good luck
confront her about the email, tell her that you will leet her keep the $3000 take everything with you. The nicer you are the more she will fu&@ with you. Trust me people like that will use emotions and beg for your forgiveness….they are only after your money…in the end she will destroy your self esteem, your bank account and all you will be left with is herpes(not personal experience) that she got from someone she cheated on you with.
Do not leave her anything!!!! This type of behaviour is not acceptable, she must learn. Everyone that said leave the things for her are being sexist. If it was a women finding that her man was planning on cheating on her they would all be telling her to take everything with them.
People said that she hasn’t cheated yet….how do u know? Do you really want to stay with her and wonder just where her mouth has been? Do you want to worry about catching some STDs. Dump her and take everything if she needs money she can always sell her house and get a smaller one. Guilt is no reason to stay with someone and be misserable for ever.
If she were not cheating it seems you might want to stay but of course you don’t if you feel it’s over. Something is wrong, you both need to communicate with one another. If she does not let you touch her then you need to talk to her about that. It doesn’t have to be all about the sex. Having sex with your partner is a normal part of relationships. It needs to happen or else something is wrong. So this needs to be brought to her attention. You cannot control what she says, thinks or feels but you need to communicate your feelings. Perhaps you can stop her from cheating. She is cheating because she is missing something from her relationship with you. So when talking to her, you need to find out what you are doing or not doing that is making her unhappy.
You need the facts before you suddenly move out. She also needs to understand that you are not happy and feel like moving out. You should explain you still love her and her child and really want to be a part of her child’s life and her’s too but she is making it difficult for you to do that.
Basically, just talk to her – if after all is said and done that it isn’t going to work then at least in good conscience you can move out.
A times in my husband’s and my relationship we would fight a lot. Sometimes I felt if it were not for the financial issues we’d have separated. We both earn about equal incomes but we ended up making it work and it was worth it.
You need to find out if it will be for you.
f***k her if she cheated or is going to cheat on you leave her without nothing she doesnt deserve any of that stuff, maybe just leave some money and a note that says that, the money is for her daughter to eat, and survive not for her
I would sit her down and explain everything that you have put down here. Ask her if its really worth cheating to throw away everything you guys have together. But when someone is planning on cheating…….they are missing something in their relationship. Not saying that its your fault……..but when your not happy……your not happy. Its hard because you put so much into a relationship when you honestly love someone. Let me ask you this…..How are you going to trust her after finding the emails? How are you going to be able to believe her when she says she wants you to stay? Are you truly going to be happy if you do decide to stay together? These are some of the questions that you need to ask yourself. I understand about the little girl and how you feel bad about taking everything……..but then she should have thought about that before she made her plans. She cant have her cake and eat it too.
dump her! set up a checking account that an account keeps ahold of and makes sure that she is spending it on only the child i think that you can do that
That is sad. Well I think you should take your stuff and your stuff only, fighting over material items makes it harder to leave some one. It can always be replaced, time can’t. Leave as soon as possible and let the little girl you won’t be seeing her as often (try not to make it a big deal). If you make it like its an every day thing she probably won’t take it as hard as you think. This is her mothers duty to protect her daughter, and although any normal human would feel bad there is just not a lot that you can do. This woman isn’t thinking about any body but herself, she is selfish and there is nothing you could do to change that. All you can do is take yourself out of this unhealthy relationship. There is nothing you can do for the little girl, her mother is who she is . This will probably not be the last time the girl has to go through this, just hope for the best for her thats all you can do. Good luck. and remember, there are lots of women looking for men like you, it just seems like all the bad women get you. You deserve a better woman
FIRST you should really talk to her about how you are feeling!
and if you still feel like leaving then leave
just walk away and don’t look back. better yet, run……..
I don’t know why you would buy a house with Some one and not have it in your name too. You can forget about that 3000 you help put down. You aren’t married so there is no splitting assets. I would take all the furniture,and put the patio furniture in the house,let her keep that, I would take the biggest tv,and the master bedroom set. I would take the kitchen set too. I would do this while she and the child are not home Back in 1978 My ex husband had a girlfriend. He went to see her and I took everything out of our apt. I left one of everything. One towel,fork,knife,spoon,plate cup,sheet,pillow,sheet of toilet paper,pan. You see where I am going. I laugh about it now,he even laughs about it now,but at the time I was angry.
Since you lived in the house for some time and have an attachment to her daughter I would say it’s time for a talk. let her know you saw the mail. You need to openly come to a decision as to who gets what now or it will become a legal battle for both of you in the end.
The unfortunate thing here is the little girl, but in today’s society its is all to common now. Be sure to ask if you may visit the little girl in the future take her on trips etc… You can only hope it works out for the both of you.
Have your conversation now there may still be a brighter side to the whole situation if you end it on a good note.
You feel bad leaving because you love her, but sometimes you have to do what is best for you and not what is best for someone else. Bring it up to her tell her how you are feeling about the whole situation. I would say that if you can afford it you should move out and maybe offer to help her pay for the house until she can find somewhere she can afford alone(this is only because she has a daughter, and it’s not fair to her). Although I would give her a limited time a month or so, so that she doesn’t totally take advantage of you. As for the furniture I would say that you are entitled to some of it, although you bought the stuff for the use of both of you, so I would say take what you really want, whether that is all of it or just some of it. As for waiting for her to cheat…it pretty much sounds like your relationship has ran it’s course and it’s time to move on.
You sound like a decent guy from the things you have spoken about. As far as the possessions and the amount of money you have put down on the house let it go. The reason I say this is because when you are gone she will realize what she had and let get away. Concerning the daughter perhaps by you leaving the possessions and forgetting about the money she will allow you to still be a part of the daughters life if the real dad is not around. Much success!
Leave the house and take your personal belongings. You paid half the morgage payment so don’t feel like you owe her anything. She will figure out how to manage on her own so please don’t feel like her financial situation is your problem. People have to own up to their own responsibilities. Don’t feel bad about taking your belongings….wouldn’t be fair for you to have to start over with nothing. Don’t feel bad.